#the pride ones are already there and then i decided 6 media ones would be fun but i uh. still need to think of 2 more media ones

[gemharvest]

we have come for your nectar

[firstofthenewguard]

Blood of Zeus Season 2 thoughts (There's alot of them)

I watched Blood of Zeus when it first came out in 2020 and the pandemic kept us trapped in our caves. I really liked the first season, mainly because it’s one of the few media outlets for Greek Mythology that isn’t wildly inaccurate, awkward, or just plain bad. It also set up a lot of interesting possible plotlines, and when the trailer for season 2 came out last month my hopes for those stories could not have been higher. I watched season 2 twice and… I have some notes (unfortunately)

First of All things I liked:

The entirety of episode 3

Hades and Persephone NOT being villains

Hades and Persephone being the only successful and functional couple in this show

The look of Hades’ Palace

ZAGREUS AND MELINOE!

The fact that Typhon is on a “He-who-shall-not-be-named” level and this time it actually has consequences

Other gods actually getting lines instead of just being backround characters on Olympus!

Hades using shadow teleportation, and using his bident like Mjolnir, only cooler

Other races in Hellas being acknowledged

More monsters; the Hydra being an ocean species is a very interesting take

Seraphim getting more development

Gaia and Hecate looked amazing

Problems with the Season:

Okay, a gripe I had with season 2 was Hades motive, and let me be clear I love the idea of Hades wanting to ascend the throne so Persephone wouldn't have to leave for 6 months, but to have him hate being in the Underworld seems like a stretch. In the myths, Hades knew the responsibility of ruling the dead and he did it with pride. It would have made more sense to have him hate being alone in the Underworld. They could've tied into the fact that Hades was the first to be swallowed by Kronos and was in his stomach alone for who knows how long.

Along with that, the season felt disjointed, like they were focusing on the wrong things, at the wrong time, for WAY too long. There were just some scenes that took up big chunks of the episodes and they didn't need to be that long, especially scenes with Heron. I know he's "The Main Character" but if you're going to make him that then please try to make his writing interesting enough for that much time to be devoted to his plot. I know that he's lost so much but his writing honestly felt clunky, it felt like he needed different scenes to make his choices more believeable. His dialouge also seemed stiff and I don't think his voice actor helped either.

We could've had a scene where Hades is talking to or doing something with Zag and/or Meli, showing how he's a better dad than Zeus, but we never got that.

If your going to give Hera a redemption arc GIVE HER A SCENE/EPISODE WHERE SHE CHANGES! Instead, the second she shows back up she's already redeemed? Really?

So, The Demon problem is just over? I don't remember them burning the giant flesh, and on that note where did Seraphim and the Demons move the giant flesh?

Ok, let me get this straight, they could've imprisioned the Giants' bodies in Tartarus the whole time?!

Also the giant problem felt like it was resolved way too early.

They didn't really focus on the open throne idea, yes the 3 trials were to decide the next king, but they needed scenes showing who the other Olympians thought should be in charge, show that scene about Ares rallying others to his side, maybe apollo did the same, or there could’ve still some loyal to Hera.

Minor: I loved Hestia but she looked WAY too young

Minor: Why are Horses just always the ones pulling the Gods' chariots, that's boring! I know most divine chariots are pulled horses in the myths, but for the love of mike be creative!

Minor: The giants guarding the hidden realm looked way to human.

Minor: They kept using the forest backround when they were in Tartarus, isn't the whole place on fire? I wanted to see some lava.

Minor: The other races that showed up for the funeral should've had varying respones to Zeus' death, like Hephaestus said.

The whole Eluesian Stone plotline seemed rushed and felt like it just came out of knowhere. The show said that Zeus drawing the stone from 3 others was how he became ruler of the Heavens, but wasn't the reason in season 1 being because he married Hera who was already queen of the Heavens?

Evios and Kofi didn't really get enough scenes for their characters to really do anything.

Alexia had the same problem she kind of just went along with Heron's whole thing this season, she didn't really do much except (sorta) talk to him.

They really should've brought all of Zeus' misdeeds to the trial, Prometheus especially.

[spot-of-tea]

So writing has been going well. I'm a little ways into chapter 3 right now, I plan to start posting it when I finish chapter 5 or 6. I'm hoping that will give me enough of a buffer to keep up with a schedule and hopefully post a chapter once a week, or at least every other week. I'll be able to do more writing during the holidays when my workload lessens but it's still a few weeks till then. My current timescales are that the first chapter will be out before the holidays start but we'll have to see.

(edit: it is wild to come back to these now that I'm in the middle of writing chapter 41 already)

Now I've been excited to talk about this next family...

The Dreyar-Strauss Family

Not long after Levy and Gajeel had their first child the media was alight with baby fever and speculation about who would be the next to settle down. As a public favourite, Fairytail was caught in the cross-hairs of many a tabloid. They often reported on scandals and took any form of affection between it's members as confirmation that the two involved were dating. Mira and Laxus were often forced together at every turn, both by their own guildmates and by the media circus that constantly surrounded them. It came to a point when the two felt obligated to date just to keep everyone happy.

Eventually one thing lead to another and they ended up marrying believing that it was just the next logical step. Unfortunately life caught up to the pair and after having children of their own they finally came to the decision that they weren't happy together and were damaging their friendship by trying to force things. While every celebrity news outlet reported that things were far more dramatic than they were. They parted quietly and amicably, deciding to co-parent their daughters together and remain friends.

Mary Dreyar

If you asked her sister, Mary was the oldest and the golden child, even if she was only 4 minutes older. In reality Mary is quiet, studious, and strives to live up to her parents legacies. Mary takes great pride in being able to trace her families roots to the founding of the guild. However underneath the surface Mary is deeply insecure that she doesn't measure up to everyone's expectations. As a result she continually pushes herself to achieve seeing it as a personal failure whenever someone expresses disappointment in her. Even her own friends put her on a pedestal and she struggles to tell them when something is wrong, worrying that they'll no longer see her as the strong and capable leader she should be. One of Mary's biggest failures is her inability to master transformation magic, a sore point between her and her mother. Instead she has become extremely skilled at using illusion magic and lightning magic. While Mary and Rita are identical twins, the two have entirely different styles, making telling them apart very easy.

Rita Strauss

The moment Rita was able to change her name she did. Hoping that taking her mothers maiden name would upset her father. Rita has admitted to many people that the only reason she hasn't left the guild yet is because she wants to force her mother to expel her by causing as many problems as possible. Something Mira just doesn't have the heart to do. In recent years Rita has somewhat curbed her misplaced aggression after finding her own team and discovering companionship with both Luna Dragneel and Lillian Redfox. Rita's frustrations stem from the constant pressure's placed on her and her sister from a very early age. Mary rose to it and suffered in silence, whereas Rita fought back, loudly and publicly. Due to this Rita has come to see her sister as the golden child, not seeing the constant struggles she's faced. Since cooling off somewhat Rita has blended into the background sticking with her own team and friends and leaving her sister to do her own thing. While Rita can use transformation magic, she doesn't as a point of pride and prefers to use her own magic that she taught herself, crystalline magic.

[joybreathingdragon]

Yesterday I had lunch with my daughter, and we talked about things we are doing in our lives and how they are going. This time last year she decided to go back to school and get a second bachelors degree. This one is in graphic design and social media.

The first few classes were easy. They mostly covered stuff she had studied in her organizational leadership degree. Then came the coding classes, and they have been harder. She has had to spend a lot more time learning new things, look up explanations on the internet, learn a language she didn't know. She has lost sleep and had to give up some fun stuff she likes to do, but last Saturday she finished this 8-week session with two more classes down and the possibility of finishing next May in sight.

And oh, my lands! Was she glowing!

She was so proud of herself! She had fought through the fatigue, the tears, and the "what was I thinking", and she was standing on top of Mount 6-More-Hours-Done with pride and joy.

And rightfully so.

When you do something hard and succeed, you should be excited about it. You should feel good about yourself.

You should feel good.

And that is one of the reasons I do hard things. It's good for my mental health.

I know it sounds contradictory, but it kind of goes back to what I said yesterday about knowing what kind of pain you are in. Sometimes you walk into pain so you can walk out feeling great.

Those two classes caused my daughter mental, physical, and emotional pain. She was physically tired, mentally frustrated, and emotionally exhausted. BUT, she kept walking through the pain to reach her goal, and, y'all, successfully finishes those classes feels good.

It isn't just reaching the goal. There is so much in the process of reaching a goal that you can feel good about.

Being resilient. Not quitting. Being strong enough to do something hard.

There is so much to feel good about in that.

A great way to feed your mental health is to do something hard.

But do YOUR something hard. Don't ever compare YOUR something hard with someone else. That is the perfect way to feed depression, insecurity, and anxiety. Don't do that. Instead, do something that helps you become who you want to be or gets you closer to the life you want to have.

Maybe you need to go back to school. Maybe you need to learn to drive. Maybe you need to create the routine of eating well. Maybe you need to find a way to exercise. Maybe you need to run a marathon. Maybe you need to clean and organize your house or room. Maybe you need to submit art to a gallery or writings for publishing. Maybe you need to ask for a raise or apply for that job you would be great at. Maybe you need to get out of bed and shower every day for...a week? Maybe three days?

I know it may sound crazy, but when I am struggling to feel good about myself or my life, I do something hard for me. Yes, it feels crushing while I am doing it, but land sake it feels good when I succeed...even if it takes a few restarts to get there.

Are you already doing something hard? How are you feeling about it? If you were to do something hard to feed your mental health, what would you do? What is keeping you from it? What do you need to get that started?

I am cheering you on because I believe in you. You really can do hard things. :-)

Blessings!

[sirfrogsworth]

First, we had FREEDOM fries and FREEDOM toast... because French people can suck it. They know what they did.

But now BIG TECH is censoring EVERYTHING. You can't say a damn thing if you are a conservative in the US. At this point, why even bother posting on social media?

I mean, look at top-performing link posts by U.S. Facebook pages in the last 24 hours...

1. Fox News 2. Ben Shapiro 3. VOA Burmese News 4. Dan Bongino 5. Peachy Sunday 6. Fox News 7. Diabetes Awareness by GreaterGood 8. Ben Shapiro 9. VOA Burmese News 10. Dan Bongino

FACEBOOK IS SILENCING RIGHT WING VOICES! AHHHHHH!

So we need another dose of freedom.

We need...

THE FREEDOM PHONE!

The Freedom Phone is a new business venture started by Eric Finmen—the world's "Youngest Bitcoin Millionaire."

Wasn't he adorkable?

You see, his folks gave him $1000 to invest when he was 12. He bought a bunch of Bitcoin. Naturally. And when he turned 18, it was worth over a million bucks. By 21 he had 2.3 million dollars and was the pride of capitalism.

So obviously that makes him a $BUSINESS GENIUS$

And not *INCREDIBLY LUCKY*

And because he is a business genius, he has decided to start a new chapter of his life as an entrepreneur. Because we definitely don't have enough of those.

His first entrepreneurial BIG BOY IDEA is selling the FREEDOM PHONE.

Let's check out the specs on this bad boy from the actual website.

Large storage, you say? 6 inches of screen??? GREAT CAMERA!!!

Well, with specificity like that, I'm sold.

People get way too caught up in the gigahertz and megapixels anyway. You don't need to know that stuff. He says it is "affordable, yet fast" and I choose to believe him.

I'm sure it is on par with every other $500 phone on the market—all while being made in the good old U.S. of A.

Because you wouldn't call it a *FREEDOM PHONE* if it weren't American-made.

That would be dumb.

"In fact, Freedom Phone appears to be a simple rebranding of a budget phone called the 'Umidigi A9 Pro,' made by the Chinese tech company Umdigi. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Finman confirmed that the Freedom Phone was manufactured by Umdigi, but couldn't say immediately which Umdigi phone it was based on.

The Freedom Phone's $500 price tag would represent a substantial markup on the A9 Pro. The phone is available on Chinese retail giant AliExpress for $120—less than one-quarter of the price of a Freedom Phone."

— The Daily Beast

Oh.

Ummmmmmmmmm...

Is there anyone out there who can put a positive spin on this? Because I'm failing to think of anything at the moment.

EXACTLY! The OS is chockfull of FREEDOM and that's what really matters.

Real AMERICAN developers toiled over the FreedomOS to make sure it was as free as humanly possible. I'm sure this OS is built from the ground up and that extra $400 expense is due to the extensive R&D needed to create this marvel of digital liberty.

SEE! IT'S BASED ON FREE SPEECH!

Annnnd... it is BASED on something called GrapheneOS, apparently.

Okay, so full disclosure.

The FreedomOS developers may have used an already developed Android fork and skinned it to look more... Freedom-y. You saw the cool flag wallpaper, right?

Truthfully, licensing that wallpaper was the bulk of the development cost. They may not have done much beyond aesthetic tweaks.

That is... except for the UNCENSORABLE APP STORE!!

*patriotic fanfare*

*eagle caws in the distance*

*someone is shot in a hunting accident*

This is where that extra $400 of value comes in. No apps will be censored. EVER. You can get your Gab and your Parler and your Gettr. And you never have to worry about those apps being unavailable because Zuckerdumb said NO.

Okay, full disclosure again.

99% of the apps banned in the iPhone and Google Play stores are due to things like malware, viruses, and illegal activity. So for every Parler that goes uncensored—so does the app that looks just like Parler but is titled "Parler Totally the Real One" and is full of viruses ready to steal your banking information. And an app store without restrictions could also end up being a haven for child pornography and illegal drug sales.

But hey... PARLER, AMIRITE?

Soooo... what happens if you don't like this incredible $500 phone worth $120?

Good news! There is a *stellar* return policy.

You get the box. You stare at the box. You DO NOT open the box.

And if that experience is unsatisfying, you can return that box within 30 days.

If you get the box. Cut a hole in that box. Stick your freedom in that box.

Well... hopefully you like it.

In conclusion, it's hard to put a price on freedom.

Sure, this is probably a giant grift.

And this conservative Bitcoin douche doesn't seem to mind grifting his own political brethren.

Because capitalism is his mistress and loyalty is fleeting in the whitest rightest of wings.

But if you want FREEDOM in your smartphone, you should definitely pay this clearly trustworthy bleach blonde, scruffy chinned lottery winner $500 for a cheap Chinese Android phone that will fill up with viruses faster than you can boot up the phone (because it is made with inferior hardware and booting probably takes a while).

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi. I was talking with my best friend and we were going over the rogues of Young Justice and who had which person as their common adversary such as Tim with all of Batman's rogues being his and the point of it was that when they were all adults who would be their own personal nemesis? Batman has The Joker clearly, Superman with Lex Luthor, The Flash and Reverse Flash, Wonder Woman and Cheetah etc but what about the YJ crew especially Bart? Who would be Bart's main nemesis when he's an adult?

Did you forget about Thad Thawne?

Thad Thawne is absolutely Bart's main nemesis NOW in current, no matter how much Thad deserves and SHOULD get a redemption arc (which likely will never happen considering Fastest Man Alive is canon again).

I also really am hesitant to say Tim's rogues are just Batman's rogues because he ran into a lot of other people and themes in his own comics on a fair basis that there are other options available. Also it looks like the one responsible for Young Justice Dark Crisis (Mxyzptlk's son, allegedly) has already decided Tim is his nemesis (see Tim Drake's Pride Special).

***Edit*** Mickey was in fact NOT the person who Tim is currently up against in his comics. When this was written, it was assumed they were going to be the same.

King Shark (yes, he's a Superboy character) with Kay Fury as well as Amanda Spence (allegedly dead) are Kon's in his own comics but having them extend into the future with him as an adult is... iffy. His 2011 solo comic had Simon Valentine (his FRIEND) being setup as his Lex Luthor with a parallel narrative as well but meh, I really liked Simon and I just want these heroes to have fucking civilian friends and have their own rogues not just mirror their assumed mentor's.

Bart however is a little more tricky because in his own comics he rarely had reoccurring villains (Thad) that truly wanted to harm him (Thad), and many of them were more Max's adversaries anyway or were guest rogues.

We do have a few however but I do not foresee them as being a problem for Bart when he is older. But they could be brought back for fun.

For fun let's just explore a few interesting people from Bart's run that were presented as villains, see if they are a candidate for future rogue-ness, then I will tell you my own personal pick for his true nemesis that isn't Thad.

White Lightning

The first 'major adversary' we see is White Lightning who has some mild 'pheromone mind control' that allows her to manipulate men just like Poison Ivy, only she has not shown any murderous intentions.

Impulse #80

She shows up early on in his series, and she shows up every now and then and is predominately a thief who uses adolescent boys to assist her in her heists.

Impulse #4

She would make a GREAT current 'rogue' because she's basically a social media influencer. She uses the internet of 1995 to attract potential 'gang members', and she even has her own merch! This would translate VERY WELL for today for a morally gray rogue.

She's FUN, but she's not really a villain so she's out for being Bart's nemesis. She's more like a Robin Hood character than a true crook (a Robin Hood that KEEPS the money).

Likelihood of being a future rogue: 6/10

lmfao white lightning has her own merch but bart doesn't

Evil Eye Eddie/Wilfred Parker (once called "Danny" by his dad)

His first appearance is in Impulse is in issue #27 and he shows up on the regular up until the near end of the series. He's a very well written character that when he first shows up he is a thug and a bully that wants nothing more than to follow in the footsteps of his father, and grandfather (Dr. Morlo) and be a super villain, and a gang member.

As time progresses with him in the series, we see that he does not actually have the disposition to do what he needs to do in order to be that, but he still retains a shitty attitude which makes him more likable. He also has a friendship with Rolly that from everything we see is genuine and he does care about him. One day I'll make a meta post about Eddie because he's fascinating as fuck.

Impulse #47

Evil Eye also finds out on his own who Bart is later and doesn't tell anyone about it so he's not a good candidate for being a rogue of Bart's later. Dr. Morlo couldn't even keep up with being Max's rogue and they instead have a divorced spouse relationship. It would be fun to have him back though. I want him to meet Stephanie Brown.

Likelihood of being a future rogue: 1/10

Pocket Pal

A better contender is Pocket Pal who was penned for issue #60 by the legendary Dwayne McDuffie (yes, Milestone's McDuffie. RIP).

His particular abilities were similar to Chester Runk's aka The Chunk in that he had a pocket dimension in which he could put an infinite number of things into. He was slick, angry, and a young thief who could definitely grow up into a regular rogue for Bart to deal with later.

Impulse #60

I could absolutely see him coming back as an adult rogue for Bart to deal with on occasion. There's a lot of writing potential for a character that has a bag of infinite carrying.

Name's gotta change though. I like Supermassive (as in black hole) but I do not write for DC and I likely never will so Pocket Pal it is.

Likelihood of being a future rogue: 8/10

Honorable Mention: Shanela

Shanela first shows up in Issue #82 and she and her twin sister Shantay both have the ability to manifest illusions. Shanela is just an A N G R Y teen, and her sister Shantay is seen as the one who is constantly trying to keep her in check.

Impulse #83

Shanela has a great narrative and she deals with a lot of internal teenage negativity and low self esteem. She does not really use her power to physically hurt anyone but she definitely has enough anger and hatred towards her peers to get to that point and probably would have had Bart not intervened. Her weakness it turned out was dogs as she is petrified of them.

She was a fascinating 'villain' and it would be fun to see her and her sister again; whether working together as some sort of hero team, working against each other, or simply being civilian metas.

Likelihood of being a future rogue: 5/10 (it's circumstantial)

And now... The person I feel personally strong about being Bart's rogue (other than Thad)...

Bedlam/Matthew Stuart

There's something about a Speedster having an adversary that has infinite power and ability through use of magic that just offers infinite potential when it comes to possible stories. It's terrifying and exciting. When it comes to this particular character however we have established history AND motivation and this character has already mentioned that he HATES Bart (and his friends) and will absolutely given the opportunity wreck his life just out of spite.

Good god don't let him team up with Thad.

Impulse #85

For context here we first meet Matthew in the story that started Young Justice. JLA: World Without Grownups and he is supposed to be a brat even before he comes into his powers.

Now, you can make the argument here that he is justifiably irritated that his father almost did not make it back in time for his 13th birthday, and that his family dynamic is not the best here, and there is probably some toxic dynamic but he's also a moody teen with some anger at the world that helps him along the path of being Bedlam. You can read this scene as him being a brat, or you can read it as him just being a normal kid dealing with loneliness and acting out. Either way, things go bad quick.

He comes into his powers by accident from that clearly stolen archeological artifact his father dug up, someone get Arthur because the Atlantean artifact contains the magical power of Garn Daanuth.

He becomes possessed by this entity Bedlam and immediately changes reality to mirror something he finds fitting; one without grownups where children rule.

Eventually he is apprehended by Tim, Kon and Bart and it is Bart who is key to finally beating him.

Matt remembers Bart very fervently when he shows back up 2 years later without the entity, but with all of his powers roiling through him (TLDR the actual entity was able to be born as a mortal human being and he ditched his magical powers and they went back to Matt).

Impulse #85

Matt to me would be top tier level for an original adversary for Bart specifically considering he targeted Bart (and other members of Young Justice but not the the same extreme as Bart).

He has history, motivation, and a kick ass power that would be nothing short than mayhem any time he showed up.

Now YES he did technically lose all his powers (Bart again, foiled him) and they jumped into Bart's body, but there is no real reason to not have Matt regain the abilities in some way. These are comics, after all.

I feel that in a hypothetical scenario where Bart had to have primary rogue that was not Thad it would be Matt Stuart 100%.

So these are just my own thoughts and Bart certainly dealt with a lot more than just those I have listed but this was still fun to explore and I hope this got you thinking into the subject of hypotheticals and maybe it inspired some fan works.

Thank you for the probing question!

[the-paris-of-people]

Number 6 for the nhie ask game if you haven't answered it already :)

6. Do you ship daxton or benvi ? And why?

HAHA okay it's pretty obvious I adore Ben and Devi together and here's why:

*Ahem clears throat because I'm about to go out on a rant*

So Paxton really, really grew on me this season and I am rooting for his development as a character. I'm proud of him for desiring intellectual stimulation, a career, for reaching his full academic potential and deepening his connection and pride in his Japanese roots and heritage. However, I don't think he and Devi are the right match according to the show and many relationship science and psychology theories. The show even states itself, many times, that Paxton and Devi are not a match, even in the season 2 finale where they get together. For example, in season one Dr. Jamie Ryan states:

The inclusion of this line is an integral part of the show- Dr. Ryan acts as Devi’s moral conscious, her mirror, and their therapy scenes are meant to examine Devi’s actions through the context of her trauma. If Devi’s relationship with Paxton was meant to be endgame, organic, and genuinely mutual, they would not include this line for audience to re-evaluate Devi’s infatuation with Paxton. This supports that s1 Devi’s obsession with Paxton is primarily a coping mechanism as a result of her grieving and trauma (s2 Devi we’ll get to in a second because that’s a different story) 

Similar to Rebecca Bunch in Crazy Ex Girlfriend (which should be required reading for the show btw), Devi relies on the fantasy of romantic cliches to compensate for her grief. After losing her primary male role model and being devastated to the point where it paralyzes her, Devi employs a mitigation tactic by crafting her own coming of age narrative, which of course, includes social mobility and validation through dating the conventionally attractive, hot guy. 

Devi’s need for external validation is a symptom of her first generation immigrant upbringing. Devi’s mom is a successful dermatologist and wears that as badge of immigrant honor. She emphasizes the importance of obtaining admission into an Ivy League college and collecting accolades from every academic competition to Devi. This translates to Devi’s social ambitions, which she mentions in the prayers in the opening scene of the show, which includes having a hot boyfriend and going to a party. When Dr. Ryan prompts her to brainstorm a goal she can accomplish by the end of the year for internal peace and satisfaction, aimed at helping her work through her trauma and accomplish self-actualization, Devi decides to try to lose her virginity to Paxton instead. 

 Because Devi lacks adult guidance (besides Dr. Ryan) since as she states in ep3, her parents only dated and married each other (#i relate bc indian arranged marriages), she turns to her friends for advice. Fabiola and Eleanor, who lack romantic experience of their own, reinforce Devi’s learned beliefs about romance from teen media such as in the scene where they are shocked about Paxton’s poorly planned date: 

This is through no fault of their own; they are teenagers and still have a lot left to learn. Fabiola’s mom values social status and high school relationships when they go to get their nails done: 

While Eleanor chooses the self-absorbed, emotionally abusive Malcolm following the abandonment from her mother over the quiet stability of Oliver, confusing his waywardness for passion: 

However, as we get to know Devi over the course of the series, the discrepancy between what she thinks she wants and what she actually wants slowly becomes apparent. In a dream sequence when Paxton comes to her room to have sex with her, Devi asks Dr. Ryan: 

This scene doubles as a commentary on women’s romantic fantasies and Devi’s true wishes and desires. Although Devi romanticizes losing her virginity in the traditional, coming of age movie fashion with the most popular guy in school, she actually wants someone who is kind, caring, who respects her and is proud of her. When venting to Dr. Ryan (really these scenes are golden in terms of exploring Devi’s psyche) Devi confirms these desires when she talking about her ideal boyfriend: 

Devi recognizes and even favors her ideal boyfriend qualities in Ben Gross, her academic adversary. In s2, she advocates for him against her friends when choosing between Paxton and him. Devi is easily persuaded into choosing Paxton, because she cares deeply about her self-image and the opinions of her friends, but she expresses concern about hurting Ben, showing that she truly cares about him. 

After the two-timing situation fails, there is little evidence to support that Devi favors Paxton over Ben romantically. Though she forges a friendship with Paxton in episode 3 and helps him academically, she invest little energy in his love life and winning back his affections. 

In s1, Devi was focused on mobilizing her reputation and winning the affections of Paxton, going so far as to abandon her friends to preserve her social status. While in s2, Devi is much more focused on regaining Ben’s trust, though doing so would yield no social merits since Ben is highly regarded as a dork by the popular kids at school. Devi WANTS to earn Ben’s affections because she cares about him. 

She is solely focused on Ben from episodes 4-8, and her jealousy towards his and Aneesa’s relationship (and her internalized racism but that’s another discussion) and her lingering desire for his approval and care consumes her energy and drives the bulk of her actions (brainstorming ways to keep them distract at the relay, wanting to apologize to Aneesa to regain his trust) If Devi truly cared about Paxton and he was her #1 choice, she would’ve tried to get in his good graces as much as possible by tutoring him at the relay, trying to make up with him immediately after snapping at him, etc. etc. but Devi only tries to talk to Paxton when it’s convenient (aka when they run into each other on the street/ at school) Conversely, Devi literally breaks into school, employs her two best friends in her ruse, and memorizes a ridiculous dance routine after being suspended to apologize to Aneesa and win back Ben (the first time at least, the second time she apologized was much more genuine) 

Dr. Ryan even recognizes Devi’s care for Ben (I have this theory that Dr. Ryan is Team Devi first, but Team Ben second) as she talks about him in therapy: 

Ben has such a significant presence and role in Devi’s life that she repeatedly expresses it in therapy. She even says that she wants to get back together with him and is hopeful for the outcome of their relationship. Heck, 2.5/4 of her therapy sessions season 2 alone are focused on Ben (.5 because one is about the two timing situation). 

Now, this is where I’m going to get into some (extremely) rudimentary attachment theory so if you’re well-versed in this subject and some academic psychology credentials feel free to chime in with your two cents. 

A huge red flag in the finale is that Paxton doesn’t want to be in a public relationship with Devi. He insists that “he’s not into labels” and “it’s nice to save that stuff for private” I personally think there’s nothing wrong with wanting to hook up if both parties agree upon it, but the issue is that Devi is a committed girl. She enjoys cultivating long term relationships with her friends (El and Fab have been her friends since they were six) and family. Moreover, when Devi looks back on it, she realizes that Paxton never called him his girlfriend then either. This renders the argument that he was publicly humiliated by her  and therefore does not want to be in a committed relationship useless. 

Paxton, from my personal opinion, has an avoidant attachment style. If you want to read more on Attachment Theory, go here. 

Paxton tends to withdraw from his emotions when he experiences difficult circumstances. For instance, after he and Devi kiss in episode 8, he avoids her instead of talking about the situation, deciding instead that he cares more about his reputation than her feelings. Moreover, when Trent and Marcus bring up how Devi cheated on him, he instead suppresses his emotions, gets a bunch of girls to sign his cast, and calls “crazy Devi” as a defense mechanism. As he decides he likes Devi and wants to have a relationship with her at the end of season 2, he still keeps her at arm’s length by avoiding the emotional label of the boyfriend. 

Meanwhile, Devi has an anxious attachment style 

She is deeply emotional and has unpredictable mood changes, low self-worth (reflected in the Dr. Ryan do you think I’m crazy? scene) and cares a lot about what people think of her (I touched on her desire for external validation quite a bit so I don’t feel that I need to elaborate on this). Though it is properly stated throughout the show that Devi is hotheaded, it’s important to note that her insecure attachment style may have been trauma-induced by the death of her father. 

If you’re familiar with attachment theory, you may know that anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant are regarded as the three primary categorizations of insecure attachment styles. About 50% of the population has a secure attachment style, but most of them are involved in romantic relationship, therefore people in the available dating pool tend to fall into the anxious-avoidant trap, where the two partners reinforce the other’s bad behaviors. This is what I predict will happen with Paxton and Devi. 

While yes, Paxton did ultimately show up to the dance, he didn’t change overnight (btw, you can change your attachment style over a period of time I think it’s like four years or something). He agreed to being Devi’s boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean he won’t struggle with emotional intimacy and communication. Paxton and Devi even exhibit anxious-avoidant behavior in a lot of their interactions, where Devi apologizes profusely and Paxton avoids/sparingly talks about his emotions about the situation. Devi struggles to win his approval, Paxton brushes it off, it’s just not the best. Even in the last scene, Devi says “So, I’m Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s girlfriend now” and Paxton just says “Yeah.” 

Just a note here: I don’t hate Paxton for his lack of communication as a character here. I think it speaks a lot to how young, teenage men feel they need to conceal their emotions, and also about how Paxton’s reputation is core part of his self-confidence. I just don’t think that healthiest relationship dynamic for Devi. 

Meanwhile, though I’m not sure if Ben has a secure attachment overall, because he definitely has abandonment/neglect issues due to his parents (which Jaren Lewison recently discussed at length in this interview) However, I think he has a secure attachment to Devi. 

From Scientific American

Ben is open, communicative, and responsive to Devi’s needs while they are cultivating a friendship and a romantic relationship, but he also lets her maintain her independence. Devi feels comfortable enough confiding to him about her tense relationship with her mom when she stays with him in episode 10, but they are both still able to co-habitate without being codependent (Ben helps his Dad workout, he grabs coffee ) Ben asks Devi to be his girlfriend, expresses his appreciation for her, and insists that he’s all in, but he ultimately respects her enough to make her own decision “you don’t have to say anything now.” 

Although Ben definitely did lose trust in Devi in s2 (and justifiably so), he still treats her well though they are no longer partners, and comforts her in her times of pain by teaching her stretches when she gets a cramp but not doting on her, and reassuring her in the bathroom but leaving after he comforts her. 

Now my next opinions of why I think Devi and Ben will nurture a happy, healthy relationship come from principles of behavioral economics from Logan Ury’s book How to Not Die Alone.

Ben and Devi share this authentic, honest, and raw emotional connection that I haven’t seen between Devi and Paxton. I agree that Devi has helped Paxton emotionally through his internal struggles about his intelligence, but I haven’t seen Paxton talk Devi through one of her emotional crises. Meanwhile Ben has seen Devi at her worst and most vulnerable. He’s experienced her making crude remarks towards, make outbursts in class, abandon her friends and family, refuse to spread her Dad’s ashes at the beach, flinch as a result of trauma when an ambulance rolls by, cheat on him, accidentally spread a rumor, apologize in the completely wrong way, shall I go on? He’s been fully present for all of it, and he’s forgiven Devi over and over again because he knows she’s a good person with a good heart who’s trying to do the right thing, who’s trying to change.

 I think Jaren Lewison said in an interview that Ben is attracted to how emotional Devi can get because it shows how much she cares, and he too is extremely emotional and they connect on that level. In How to Not Die Alone, Ury stipulates that a communication, a growth mindset and loyalty are some of the most undervalued characteristics in determining the success of romantic relationships. The fact that Devi and Ben are willing to grow, change, and support each other through the changes in their relationships (even while Ben dates someone new) and remain loyal to one another suggests that they’ll be successful in the future.  I think it’s extremely significant and noteworthy that Ben is willing to understand Devi’s mental health issues while Paxton (although offhandedly) coined the term “Crazy Devi” and brushes off Devi’s problems such as in the car scene in season 2 episode 8 

Side note, Ury emphasizes the importance of a slow burn in a romantic relationship. The best romantic relationships may not come from someone who’s the most good looking, and with whom you have immediate chemistry with, but someone who shows up for you and cares for you. I’m pretty sure the NHIE writers are trying to illustrate this concept with the two initial dates with Ben vs. Paxton. Paxton is someone who stopped Devi’s heart when she first met in in whatever grade, but he brought his friends on their first date and didn’t even team up with her in video games, whereas Ben is an “obnoxious hobbit who’s tortured (Devi) for years” can be a show-off and a bragger, even as he explains his feelings to Devi, but ultimately shows that he cares for her and is going to be loyal to her for the duration of their relationship (and even as she moves to India)

Also if the show didn’t care about enemies to lovers, and highlighting that sometimes the person you have the best relationship with isn’t the person with whom you have the spark, but who have have the slow burn with and get to know over a period of time who ends up being an amazing person and the best long term partner WHY WOULD YOU INCLUDE THESE TWO?? 

P.S. I love them, petition for them to come back Nalini deserves everything okay goodbye 

Alright I’m ready to dismantle some arguments against Ben that I’ve seen from Tik Tok. 

“He should have waited until Devi was ready and not dated Aneesa” 

“He shouldn’t have dated Devi’s best friend” 

Devi and Aneesa had just met, they weren’t best friends yet, and Aneesa expressed interest in Ben. What was Ben supposed to do, pine after Devi all the time and wait around while she got everything together? No. It’s normal and natural to date someone else, and Ben may not have realized how strong his feelings were for Devi still when he started dating Aneesa. He was hurting from being cheated on, yes, but that’s all we know. From watching the show, it doesn’t seem to me that Ben is trying to date Aneesa as some kind of revenge on Devi (yall might disagree with me I know there’s that tent theory which is interesting) He isn’t even aware that Devi has feelings for him at all (which please boi it’s so obvious) He’s actually actively trying to avoid Devi in episodes 5 and 8 when he’s with Aneesa because he knows it’s an uncomfortable situation. He’s trying to move on by dating another awesome girl after being publicly humiliated and cheated on. Y’all would do the same. Give me a break. 

“Indian girl fetish” 

A fetish by definition is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. Ben does not go after both Devi and Aneesa because they’re Indian. He is not attracted to them because they’re Indian. Does it seem strange that he dates seemingly the only two Indian girls in the school? Yes. But Ben isn’t dating them because they’re Indian. Ben dates them based on his personal relationship to them. Ben values the emotional connection he has with Devi, and he likes the attention from a cool girl like Aneesa. If he was attracted to someone from any other race and shared a similar connection, he would date them too.  

Now, my personal (and most controversial) opinion is why so many people switched from Team Ben to Team Paxton in season 2. Yes, Paxton had a great character arc in season 2. He really improved as a student and proved himself to be ambitious and willing to change in terms of his academics. However, he really did... the bare minimum for Devi in their relationship? All he did was show up for Devi at a dance after she asked him twice why he wouldn’t go public, and after a guidance counselor called him and had to spell it out for him that Devi made him better. Meanwhile Ben, out of his own accord, reconciled her with her friends, risked his life to help her spread her dad ashes in the season 1 finale, and waited for her. Why are people equating these two actions as worthy of Devi’s love and switching over to Team Paxton (or being stuck)? 

Pretty privilege. Note here: I actually think Ben is very good-looking. However, Paxton is revered as a sex symbol in the show and on social media. Because he is regarded as conventionally attractive, he can get away with more. So even though he blew Devi off in public and prior to the dance (you can argue his reasoning was justified but it was still shitty thing to do nonetheless and no one wants to be treated like that as their love interest) his overall gesture can be regarded as more romantic and his shortcomings are overlooked than if a less conventionally attractive love interest did the same. Ben had to basically be perfect in the last episode of season 1 for people to favor him, while Paxton could just be mediocre at the end of season 2 and people will love him. 

TL;DR: I spent most of this post dissing Paxton, but it’s pretty clear that I am Team Ben. There are honestly so many more reasons I could list, from Ben’s respect for her family (I’m Indian and that’s so fucking important, okay?) to the way they challenge each other which has been stated countless times but yes, I adore Ben and I think he and Devi would make a fantastic couple (once they get their shit together, of course) 

Tagging: @renelynk @montygreen @fair-but-wilde-child @itsnotalwaysbeenhim @lunasink @a-thief-of-many-books @adoringjonsa @uglybr4inz @parijats @corduevasmila @incorrectquotesconaisseur @re-x @thanatosletum @girl-looking-out-window @flowersandstarlight @patatine-e-marmellata @ralfthecat

[tessisawriter]

Invisible String, Part 1 (Colton Parayko)

Request: Can you write an imagine where the reader is John Krasinski’s [niece] but she’s dating Colton Parayko and like she has to breaks the news and John acts mad or something and scares them but then he says he’s joking and he’s fine with it? Thanks

***NOTE***: I changed some details in the last scene b/c I moved the timeline up from October 7 to September 14.

A/N: I’m back! The protagonist is an OC but I decided to call her Y/N instead of giving her an actual name b/c John Krasinski has nieces and/or nephews irl. I already planned the entire plot but idk whether the series will be 2 or 3 parts—I’ll post an update when I know more. This series takes place from March 2018 to June 2019 and is loosely based on Taylor Swift’s “Invisible String.” Here is the playlist.

Warnings: Six swear words, rough breakup, alcohol, loneliness & homesickness

Word Count: 3.4k

March 21, 2018

You were impervious to the mix of pitying and derisive glances from passersby as you sat on the curb. You knew you looked like a cliché, crying in front of a restaurant because your boyfriend broke up with you on your 22nd birthday, but you didn’t care. One question gnawed at you: how had six words upended your seemingly perfect day and relationship?

Your brain was buzzing with activity, wondering if Max had given you any clues that something was amiss. This morning, you woke up in his Cambridge apartment to him singing “Happy Birthday” while kneeling at the side of the bed. As soon as Max finished singing, he kissed you before grabbing his backpack and hurrying out of the room. That didn’t mean anything, though: Max was one of the only seniors to have the misfortune of taking all morning classes because his major was Theater, Dance, and Media. He was also (as usual) running late.

The rest of the day unfolded like any other Wednesday as you followed your schedule of lounging in bed, studying for an hour, going to the sandwich shop across the street for lunch, and heading to campus at 1PM for your classes. Afterwards, you went back to the apartment to find Max waiting there, already dressed for dinner. You quickly showered, curled your long (Y/HC) hair, and changed into a dark green dress and black booties before taking his hand and going to an Italian restaurant in Boston’s North End.

There were no warning signs at dinner, either. In fact, everything was perfect until you were waiting for the check and Max said with a detached look in his eyes, “I think we should break up.”

You didn’t want to relive what happened next, but the images of you acting like Elle Woods when Warner broke up with her in Legally Blonde popped into your head unbidden. You closed your eyes in humiliation and shame as you remembered Max, the man you dated for three years, abandoning you at the table and fleeing the restaurant. The other customers stared at you, some sympathetic, others scandalized, and the rest in pure shock.

You snapped out of the flashback when you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. You whipped your head around to find a young man with blonde hair and black rimmed glasses squatting next to you on the curb.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

The panic faded as you took in the man’s features. He was definitely in his 20s, probably a few years older than you, and his blue eyes were filled with concern. Something about that concern, though, made you snap.

“Do I look like I’m okay? I mean, come on, look at me!” you demanded while pointing at your face, which you (correctly) assumed had giant black streaks of mascara on it.

You fully expected the man to walk away and leave you be, but he sat down on the curb instead and said, “My bad, that was a stupid question. I’ve got some tissues if you want them?”

That made your attitude soften. He was only trying to help, so you nodded and he handed you a pack of tissues from his pocket. You smiled at him, took the tissues, and wiped your eyes and face. As soon as you were satisfied that they were clean, you broke the silence. “Thank you…?”

“Colton, and it’s no problem. What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You held out your hand for him to shake, which he did. After a pause, you asked: “Why did you stop? Surely you have somewhere better to be tonight.”

He chuckled, and the sound of it made your heart flutter. “I was just heading back to my hotel when I saw you, and I figured I’d stop and make sure you get home safe. That is, assuming you live here?”

“Yeah, I live in Cambridge.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you realized they were no longer true, so you amended your statement. “Well, I lived in Cambridge until about 15 minutes ago when my now ex-boyfriend dumped me. On my fucking birthday.”

“Shit, that sucks. I’m really sorry.” He paused before adding, “I’m assuming he isn’t here.”

“Nope. He hightailed it out of the restaurant as soon as he got his credit card back.”

Colton shook his head. “What a jackass.”

“I know, right? I wasted three whole years with someone who not only broke up with me in a very public setting on my birthday, but also couldn’t be bothered to ask where I would go! He probably assumed I’d go to my parents’ house, but still.”

“Your parents live here?” Colton asked as he fished his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

“Yeah, right by Boston Common, why?”

“I’ll get an Uber and drop you off before going back to the hotel.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” you protested while going through your bag for your phone. “We just met! I’ll pay.”

“Nonsense. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Let me take care of it.”

You stared into Colton’s eyes and realized he wasn’t going to back down. It took everything in you to suppress your pride, thank him, and provide the address. Colton typed it into his phone, waited for a moment, and said, “The closest one is around the block.”

“That’s good.” Your burst of energy dissipated as quickly as it came, and you fell silent. From the corner of your eye, you saw Colton open his mouth as if to say something before the headlights of a car momentarily blinded you.

“That’s the Uber.” Colton stood up and offered his hand, and you took it. You couldn’t help but notice how well they fit together as he pulled you up and off the curb, but after regaining your balance, something else grabbed your attention: his height.

“Gee, how tall are you? No one’s ever made me feel like a dwarf before,” you joked as he led you to the car, your hands still intertwined.

He chuckled and opened the door for you. You let go of his hand and slid into the car. After Colton slid in next to you and shut the door, he replied, “I’m 6’6” and no one’s ever made me feel like I’m not a giant before. You’re what, 5’10”?”

“6 feet, actually,” you corrected him. “So, where are you from, Colton?”

“St. Albert; it’s just outside Edmonton in Canada, but I’ve been in the States for a while. I went to the University of Alaska in Fairbanks before moving to, uh, St. Louis.”

You noticed Colton’s hesitancy and the fact that he lowered his voice when saying “St. Louis,” and you were about to ask why when you thought better of it. You were protective of your privacy, too, especially whenever people commented about how funny it was that you shared the same last name as John Krasinski. It wasn’t a coincidence—he was your uncle, and the two of you were extremely close—but you went along with it and never corrected them because it wasn’t their business. So, you let it go. “And what brings you to Boston?”

“Work,” he said before changing the subject. “What do you do? Are you still in school or—”

“I’m a senior at Harvard,” you cut him off. You generally didn’t drop the “H-bomb,” as you and your friends called it, with people you didn’t know well, but this was a special case. Colton just confirmed he was hiding something, and after looking at him in better lighting, his face seemed familiar, which weirded you out. You had to get back on equal footing, and the H-bomb almost always unsettled people.

“Wow, you must be really smart,” Colton said, seeming impressed but unphased. You couldn’t help yourself from raising an eyebrow as he asked, “What’s your major?”

“Government. What was yours?”

“Business administration.”

“Ah.” You fell silent again, this time on purpose, as you racked your brain for where you might have crossed paths with Colton. He wasn’t from Boston, not even close, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen him before, and recently.

Colton didn’t let you ruminate for long before reviving the conversation. “What do you want to do when you graduate?”

“I’ll be a lawyer one day, but I have to be a paralegal first. I’m looking for jobs right now.”

Before Colton could reply, the car came to a stop. You looked out the window and saw your parents’ townhouse and your childhood home.Your time in the car had flown by, a sensation you rarely, if ever, experienced. And there was something between you and Colton, a connection you couldn’t quite describe, that made you want to spend more time with him. But your time was up. “This is me. It was nice to meet you, Colton, and thanks again for the ride—I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” he replied. “I’m glad I found you.”

You were overwhelmed by an intense desire to ask for his number. If only he lived in Boston or somewhere in the Northeast. But he lived in St. Louis, so you moved to open the door, only to feel Colton’s hand wrap around yours and hear him say: “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You turned around and locked eyes with him. It was like being in a trance, and your heartbeat thundered in your ears.

It felt like years, but it was more like a few moments before Colton let go of your hand. “Good luck with the search. I’m sure you’ll find a good job.”

You wanted to let out a sigh of disappointment, but you just said, “Thanks,” and smiled at him before getting out of the car.

***************

The smell of bacon finally lured you out of your bed at noon the next day.

It had been a rough night. The reality of the breakup hit you like a ton of bricks when you rang the doorbell and all but collapsed in your mom’s arms when she answered the door. She brought you over to the couch, where your dad was waiting anxiously. As soon as you sat down, you grabbed your mom and cried for an hour straight as she held you and stroked your hair. You knew Max wasn’t worth your tears, but it had more to do with you. Despite his major, he wasn’t that good of an actor, and yet, he fooled you into thinking he could be your person. You took immense pride in your instincts, but they failed you with Max. How could you have possibly fallen in love with such a heartless person? More terrifying, would you have ended up marrying him a few years down the road if he hadn’t broken up with you?

You didn’t know the answer to either question, so you stopped crying and began venting about how the breakup went down. Your dad almost hit the ceiling after hearing that Max left you at the restaurant, and you had to talk him out of driving to Cambridge to “give that little shit a piece of my mind!” That wasn’t to say you weren’t thinking about revenge, but your dad potentially getting arrested was not helpful. After that, you started crying again, only this time out of frustration, and didn’t stop until you practically passed out on the couch. The last thing you remembered was your parents guiding you up the stairs to your bed.

Thankfully, you had no classes on Thursdays, so you were able to sleep in and be, if nothing else, well-rested. Your stomach rumbled when you smelled the bacon, so you got out of bed and made your way down the stairs to the kitchen, where your parents were sitting at the table and watching the television.

“Ugh, why are you watching the news?” you said as a way of greeting while making a beeline for the bacon.

“Good morning to you, too, sweetheart,” your dad replied. “I’m waiting for the sports report. I missed the game last night and Uncle John wouldn’t tell me the score. He said he’s sorry about, I quote, ‘the scumbag’ and he’ll call you tonight.”

“God, I miss him. And you,” you addressed your mom as you shoveled a load of bacon onto your plate, “are the best.”

“See, honey? I knew bacon would cheer her up,” she said to your dad.

“I didn’t doubt it. Y/N, we have to figure out a time to get your stuff from that piece of shit’s apartment. I’m not letting you go by yourself, but do you want to let him know ahead of time or just show up?”

“Who did the B’s play?” you sat down at the table and changed the subject immediately. You didn’t care about sports, but your dad and Uncle John were major Bruins fans and the mere mention of Max gave you a headache.

“The Blues.”

“Where do they play again?” you asked as you ate your bacon. It had to be a team from the Western Conference, but the only teams you knew there were the Canucks and Blackhawks because they were on your dad’s shit list.

“St. Louis.”

You almost choked on your food. “What?”

“St. Louis, sweetie. You know, the Gateway Arch—”

“Yeah, I know, Mom,” you recovered. “That’s the team Jenna likes, right, Dad?”

“Yes. Shh, here it is!” He didn’t need to tell you twice; you doubted Colton was a professional hockey player, but your curiosity won out as you intently watched the television.

The score flashed on the screen—an OT loss for the Bruins—and your dad groaned. “Ugh, I’ve got to turn this garbage off.”

And suddenly, a few Blues players, including one that looked awfully similar to Colton (albeit without glasses), flashed onto the screen. You didn’t get a good enough look at him to be sure, though, because your dad changed the channel. You let out a noise of frustration.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” your mom asked, and your dad looked like he had the same question when he turned away from the television.

“I’ll text the scumbag and tell him I’m coming this afternoon, if that’s okay with you, Dad,” you said. “I want to get it over with and besides, I need my laptop and textbooks.”

“That’s perfect, sweetheart. The office doesn’t need me today, anyway.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back; my phone’s upstairs,” you called out behind you as you raced back up the stairs. You did not want to text Max, but it was better than telling your dad that the man he praised for making sure you got home last night was potentially part of the team responsible for his beloved Bruins’ loss.

You locked your bedroom door and grabbed your phone to pull up Google and the St. Louis Blues roster. Part of you thought there was no way a professional hockey player actually cared enough to bring you home, but the Blues being in town and one of its members resembling Colton were too many coincidences for your liking. You tapped your foot impatiently as the phone loaded the roster, and you scrolled through the list until you found a name of interest.

“C. Parayko, 55, R, 6’6’’…”

It cut off after that, so you scrolled sideways to see the other information. It left you without a shadow of doubt, but you clicked on the name anyway to view a picture. Colton’s headshot and full first name stared back at you as if they were looking into your soul.

It really was him. You had to have seen him on the little television at the sandwich shop’s register yesterday.

But what did this information mean for you, really, besides discovering his identity? It was nice to know his full name because it confirmed that he was a real person instead of a delusion your reeling mind made up, but it didn’t change one important fact: you lived in Boston and he lived in St. Louis. Barring a radical change in one of your lives, which you didn’t see happening, that was the reality of the situation. It was time to stop dreaming and confront your immediate future.

You pulled up Max’s number and began composing the text which, after several drafts, read: “I’ll be at the apartment today from 3 to 5. My dad’s coming with me, so make yourself scarce. I want my shit back.”

***************

6 months later: September 14, 2018

You were miserable only two weeks after relocating to St. Louis.

It was funny how one phone call could completely change someone’s life. In your case, said phone call involved an extremely attractive job offer with a clear path for advancement within one year. The offers you had received from legal firms in Boston, New York, D.C., and Philadelphia were underwhelming, to say the least, and you were only a week away from graduation. You had already endured a lot of change this year, so why not one more?

After nearly giving your parents a heart attack but ultimately receiving their blessing, you accepted the offer and moved to St. Louis on September 1st. Uncle John had been especially supportive, enlisting Jenna (known by the rest of the world as Pam from The Office) to fly out from L.A. and show you around the city last week. She made sure you knew the ins and outs of the city, which you really appreciated. You also loved your job. You were doing important work every day, and your boss was already hinting at giving you the promotion you wanted. 

So, why were you unhappy? It was your social life, or rather, lack of one. You didn’t know anyone in St. Louis, and while your coworkers weren’t mean, they didn’t make you feel welcome, either.

That seemed to have changed earlier today when two of your desk neighbors who were around your age, Harper and Ellie, invited you out for drinks after work. You couldn’t have been happier. You went home after work, did your hair and makeup, put on your favorite royal blue mini dress, and met them at the dive bar you recommended. You were so excited on the way over that you could barely sit still; maybe you’d make friends with these girls and finally feel like you fit in in this city.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Harper and Ellie abandoned you within less than five minutes after two guys came over and asked them to dance. You were now sitting at the bar alone, nursing a cocktail and despairing over your situation.

It was times like these when you thought about Colton. It had been six months since you’d met him in Boston, and you didn’t want to risk looking like a lunatic by slipping into his DMs on Instagram, but you were getting desperate. It was bad enough that being from the Northeast made you stick out like a sore thumb, but the loneliness was eating you alive, and the combination made you feel unmoored. Maybe a familiar and friendly face could change that.

As if God had answered your prayers, you heard a commotion near the entrance. You swiveled your stool in that direction and saw a group of tall, good-looking men in their 20s entering the bar. The tallest one had blonde hair and black rimmed glasses.

It was Colton.

Your brain screamed at you to look away and approach him after he settled in, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he laughed at something one of his friends said. It was as if he felt your stare because he suddenly looked in your direction and appeared to gasp.

It was only then that you turned away and faced the bar, drinking the rest of your cocktail in a few gulps. You were so embarrassed; he probably thought you were a stalker or something. You were about to flag down the bartender for another drink when you felt that familiar large hand rest on your shoulder.

You turned your head and found Colton staring at you, his blue eyes full of incredulity and…happiness?

“Y/N. It’s really you,” he breathed.

[xiaoderys]

❝ Saturated Sunrise ❞ (l.dh, n.jm) I

DISCONTINUED

pairing: haechan x reader, jaemin x reader

genre: crack, fluff, angst, possible smut soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au mixed WITH narrative

warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive with possible smut in future chapters

word count: 2.5K

parts: prologue , character-profile, I

synopsis: you gradually lose your ability to see colors as you fall out of love with donghyuck

you were red and you liked me because I was blue. but you touched me and suddenly was a lilac sky. then you decided purple just wasn't for you.

You’ve always loved the rain, unlike your boyfriend who would squirm whenever a single drop touches his golden skin, but then again, who could blame him? he was like the sun; a ball of roaring fire that could never learn to love its polar opposite. But you on the other hand, could never hate it even if you tried, there was just something about it, maybe it’s the tranquility of it, the smell, the aesthetic or the fact that it brings you back to the very night you met Hyuck.

It’s quite funny really, you’d think these only happened in movies and tv shows yet there you were, soaking wet and walking side by side with a boy you barely knew under an umbrella that barely covered you both.

You sighed deeply while looking through the glass windows of the convenience store and up at the dark sky, the rain was pouring and you figured it won’t be stopping any time soon.

You didn’t have your umbrella with you but it was already past 10pm so after a few minutes of internally arguing with yourself, you got out of your seat, walked out and pulled your bag above your head to somehow shield yourself from the rain.

new instagram post from Donghyuck, 1 new text from mom, 6 new notifications from bible study

open? Yes / No

As you took your first few steps outside, you heard the bell ring from behind you, signaling that there was someone going in/out of the store.

You didn’t mind it at first but you heard someone yell “Hey, wait up!” no one else was around so you assumed the person was calling out for you and stopped in your tracks.

You turned around to look and just as you do, a car sped right in front of you which caused the rain water from the ground to be splashed all over you.

“Well, fuck” you exhale.

You lowered the bag covering your head as you were already soaking wet from head to toe and wiped your dripping face swearing to yourself that the universe hated you.

As soon as the car passed, the person on the other side of the road, jogged towards you and adjusted his umbrella over your head “What the hell were you thinking?”

You were quite confused as to why this person was suddenly scolding you so you just furrowed your brows at him.

“Walking home without an umbrella in this weather? Are you stupid?”

“Well what do you want me to do? spend the night at 7-eleven?” you didn’t mean to respond with sarcasm but you just got soaked with rain water and this guy who was nagging you while talking just called you stupid which did not help you and your anger issues.

“Better than ending up looking like a wet dog that just played in the mud but I think it’s a little too late for that” he said as he looked you up and down.

“Hey, it’s not my fault! that guy was driving like he’s in grand theft auto!”

“Well if you just stayed back in the store and waited for the storm to at least calm down a little bit then you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place and I wouldn’t have had to leave my delicious cup of ramen in there all alone” he raised his brow acting as if he made a point.

“No one asked you to do that”

“No one asked me to be so unbelievably hot either but here I am”, you scoffed at his sudden cockiness but you’d rather eat your own arm than feed a man’s ego so you looked at him with a distasteful expression “Just go back to your ramen, I can handle myself”

“Lies. You’ll freeze to death before you could even get half-way home. Here, take this” he took off his jacket and handed it to you.

The cold wind mixed with rain and your wet clothes hit you like a truck bigger than your ego but your stubbornness still got the better of you “I-I don’t need it”

“you’re literally shivering like a little puppy”, he was right but are you going to admit to that? No.

“I bite into my ice cream without feeling a thing and sleep right in front of the air conditioner, I think I’ll be fine”

He poked his tongue in his cheek, showing his annoyance “Why do you have to be so difficult? you’d rather walk home freezing than put your pride aside for a second?” the angrier he got while scolding you, the more he talked in a pout so instead of scaring you into listening, you actually found it a little cute—

“Hey, are you listening?!” thunder struck all of a sudden which made you flinch and Donghyuck swore right then and there that you were the most adorable thing in existence.

After seeing you jump from the thunder, his expression softened and suddenly the rain was pouring heavier than before and you were shivering like crazy. He sighed, and put his jacket over your shoulders himself.

You were gonna take it off and give it back to him but he stopped you “if you take that off, I’ll kiss you” normally, you would love to challenge a bluff but you couldn’t take it anymore, it was so cold and you had no other choice, so you mumbled a quick “fine” and although it didn’t help much, you did feel a lot warmer.

He smiled at you, satisfied with your decision “Great, so where are we headed?”

“We?” you looked up at him confused

“mhmm, were you just expecting me to give you my umbrella and let you go home with my adidas track top?” he said with a ridiculing expression

“pretty much, yeah”

“This is my only umbrella and that jacket costs over a $60, I’m not letting you walk away with it just like that and besides, there are loads of creeps out here”

“$60 for a jacket this thin?” you held up the sides of the jacket wondering how a jacket so thin could cost more than your weeks worth of allowance.

“Yeah, it’s a bit off a rip-off, but that’s not the point, dummy. I’m your only option of getting home safe wether you like it or not”

“You don’t even know me, why do you care so much if something happens?“

“My gentleman nature is truly my biggest flaw-“ you rolled your eyes and turned around, ready to walk away but he held your shoulders back “ah ah, hold on! My mom would never forgive me if she found out I left a girl all alone to walk home in the rain”

You sighed “Fine but no talking, I’ve already used up all my social juice for the day” he nodded cutely and snuggled beside you.

You didn’t get the chance to think about it but he looked around your age and appeared to be a student as well, considering the fact that he wore a tracksuit and was carrying a backpack.

You tried to catch a glimpse of his face every now and then and you weren’t gonna lie, he definitely wasn’t bad looking.

Being a little shorter than him, it gave you the opportunity to study his side-profile; his jaw was quite defined and his features were really soft and he had these insanely fluffy cheeks oh- and you also noticed his plump lips that made it look like he was always pouting.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer” he said with a straight face, not even bothering to look in your direction.

“What?” you widened your eyes, blood rushing to your cheeks due to embarrassment.

“What? you think I haven’t noticed you staring at me for the past five minutes? you’re practically undressing me with your eyes” he playfully rolled his eyes.

You slapped his arm “No, I wasn’t! what’s wrong with you!”

He let out a chuckle, finding your annoyance and the way you turn red when embarrassed very amusing but you on the other hand just stayed with a pout and furrowed brows.

Donghyuck soon realized that you haven’t caught each other’s name yet “so what’s your name?”

“I thought I said no talking”

“Come on, small talk won’t hurt you”

I guess it’s better than walking in awkward silence “I’m y/n”

“Cute. I’m Donghyuck“ he smiled.

Since you were making small talk, you decided to ask about him more “if you don’t mind me asking, are you still a student?”

“A high school junior, yes, you?”

“Oh my god! same!” Donghyuck noticed how you got a little too excited over something so little but little did he know, that your childlike nature was just a sample of your many unforgettable qualities.

“Really? your height is making me think otherwise”

“Hey! My height is average!” you stopped and started to get defensive.

“And it’s not like you could talk, you’re not even that much taller!” that was a lie, he stood a good 7 inches taller than you making him the perfect height to give you forehead kisses.

“Okay mike wazowski, let’s keep it moving”

“Are you really trying to get me mad?!”

You looked so cute with your brows knit together and mouth forming a thin line that Donghyuck just couldn’t help but laugh “No offense but I literally feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake”

“Do you want to fight?!” and just like that, Donghyuck found his new favorite hobby: annoying the living hell out of you.

“Pftt, what are you gonna do? eat my kneecaps?” he rolled his eyes.

“You know what, take your umbrella, I’m going home on my own!” You were ready to leave and he chuckled “Come onnnnn, I’m just kidding, it’s already-“ he checked his phone for the time “10:57 and I have to be home by midnight”

“Who are you? Cinderella?”

“Yeah but I’m much prettier and charming plus I have a mom who will eat me alive if I stay out too late so let’s get going”

“okay but you have to promise to stop teasing me”

“Alright. I’ll try” and with that you huffed continued with your walk home

You didn’t want to admit it but you really enjoyed Donghyuck’s company, there was just a natural sense of familiarity with him which made you feel at ease.

He would talk about the most random things but no matter what they were, he always found a way to put a smile on your face.

He even talked about his little puppy at home who probably misses him which made you feel bad because the puppy must be so sad right now and here you are, taking up too much of Donghyuck’s time.

You were both so into these conspiracy theories that you didn’t even notice that thirty minutes have passed and you were right in front of you house.

“Well, uhm, this is me” you smiled softly.

“Oh then I guess I’ll get going now” he responded, getting ready to go home.

“Wait uh- thanks for you know, walking me home and stuff.. I’m really sorry for being rude earlier” you looked at the ground, feeling ashamed of how you acted earlier when he was only trying to help.

He chuckled, ruffling your hair “It’s fine, I won’t exactly be very happy either if I got ground water splashed all over me while it’s 10 degrees outside, but you do owe me a cup of ramen”

“Oh come on, that probably only costed like a dollar or something” you whined

“3$ actually and it was a really delicious cup of ramen so I’m gonna have to get your number because I’m not letting this one slide” if Donghyuck was being honest, he couldn’t give two fucks about the ramen; normally, he’d be really mad about it but the fact that he can use it as an excuse to get your number, made up for it.

“fine” and that was how it all started.

Now, you could’ve called a cab that night or asked someone to come pick you up but you didn’t. Call it fate or your brain just wasn’t working at the time but you sure as hell know it happened for a reason because that’s what brought Hyuck to you.

There are forces in the universe that we don’t understand, measurable forces that can’t be explained but also can’t be denied and nobody gets it but maybe that’s what it was because right here, right now you’re with a distressed Donghyuck because you both forgot your umbrellas and have to take shade under an oak tree.

He hated the rain, he would squirm every time it hit his skin yet he still gave up his jacket to cover you. He continued to scold you because quite frankly, you stopping to pet every single stray animal you saw was the reason why you got caught in the middle of the rain anyway.

“You know, one of these days, one of those strays will bite or scratch you and you’re gonna get rabies” there he was again with his lips in a pout, annoyed by the continuous droplets of rain meeting his golden skin.

“Hmm maybe, but until then, I’m gonna stop to pet every single one I see because all of them deserve love and attention. You know, if it were up to me-“ he cut you off “You’re gonna adopt all the stray animals in the world and take care of them, I know. You literally never fail to mention that” you smiled at how he always seems to never listen to you yet he remembers the little things. But then you noticed that he was shivering “are you cold? do you want your jacket back?”

“no, I’m fine” he exhales.

You furrowed your brows and looked at him with worry and of course he noticed.

“Baby, I’m fine, I swear, all this sexual tension between us from being so close together is enough to keep me warm”

You playfully hit his arm and he chuckled “No, seriously, keep it, you need it more than me” oh, he hated it, he hated it so so much. He wanted to be anywhere with you but there but he wasn’t gonna admit to that and he didn’t want you to worry.

Youu started to talk in a pout, a habit you unconsciously picked up from your boyfriend whenever you were worried “but you’re shivering, can we at least share it?”

Donghyuck knows the jacket would never fit the both of you but he also knows that you’re not one to give up easily, it’s one of his most favorite things about you, except when you’re arguing or playing games because you’re both egotistical assholes yet you’re the only one who can put him in his place and the only one he sets his pride aside for.

You looked at him snuggled right beside you, trying his best to not let the rain touch you and despite the situation being unfavorable, right at this exact moment, everything just felt right and you know you were supposed to be here.

[femboty2k]

Long post about something I think about a lot and that doesn’t matter to anyone else but me probably

I’m sure there’s a million posts out there on why good representation is important and good but I just wanted to talk shortly about something that happened to me in a recent span of a few months involving a character in a dumb game about collecting jpegs of anime women and hunky dudes with giant swords.

There’s a game called Granblue Fantasy, its an extremely popular gacha game/JRPG with a very large roster of characters and a lot of stuff to do as far as reading through character lore, fighting JRPG battles, raids, and basically playing VNs for character dialogue. It’s a pretty good game, and one of the coolest things about it, is it has (to my knowledge, I dont play/keep up with it very often) 2 canon trans characters. One is named Cagliostro, an alchemist who was born as a man but through extensive experimentation and some self discovery has since transitioned into a woman, hell bent on making herself as cute as possible. Fun right? She’s presented extremely well and is one of the game’s more fun characters. The second character is one that has become a personal favourite for me for many reasons, her name is Ladiva.

Ladiva is a part of a race of people called the Draph. The Draph are a humanoid, and pretty much human looking, race of people with their defining features being their large stature and bovine like horns and ears. This is important because male draph are usually much larger and more muscular than female draph (but its a horny anime game so who can say they’re surprised lol). Ladiva, as my discussion here makes obvious, is a trans woman belonging to these folk. Because of this, she’s both quite large, muscular(and more masculine presenting on the surface), and has rugged looking facial hair. The surprising thing about her presentation in comparison to how she looks, is that she’s presented incredibly well. despite her appearance being not as feminine as it could be (with Cagliostro even offering to make her a new totally feminine body only to have Ladiva refuse, stating that she should love her own body along with the rest of herself) she’s treated as what she is, a woman.

So why am I talking about this? Why am I putting my poorly put together thoughts on this tumblr post no one will read? Well, I am trans. I have felt a certain way about myself all my life that I’m sure most trans people can echoe so I won’t wast time waxing poetic about how I’ve always felt more feminine than I was “supposed” to be. My core purpose of this post comes from the fact that I am 6′2, nearly 300lbs of muscle/fat/body hair, and have had a full beard since I was 14. I am EXCEEDINGLY masculine, which has made my own internal struggle with my transness sort of difficult to accept. A sort of constant push and pull of wanting to just repress it all because I already pass as a man and wanting to work towards being who I know I actually am. Another factor is that I never felt truly comfortable with purely feminine pronouns. In highschool I went by a different name, and I used she/her pronouns and for a while it felt okay. But it was always just, okay. It never felt right on top of several people giving me some rather hurtful backlash for it and how it contrasted so much with my physical appearance. So I stowed it all away until about a year ago. I now have something that I didn’t have before, a truly wonderful and supportive group of adult friends who treat me like an adult as well and take me seriously. So through careful examination of how I felt i began trying new things to explore my identity. It began with me deciding I wanted to use they/them pronouns, this stuck and still feels like its the right thing for me along with the label of Nonbinary. However, slotting myself into this new label and finally feeling comfortable in an identity brought about new thoughts as well as new things to mull over in my head. Things like the fact that most nonbinary representation in media falls under the same category of a waifish AFAB person who presemts femininely if not androgynous, and how people like me are a vocal minority within the community itself even being excluded by a small portion of it. It was a new set of things to tackle and think about. But that aside, with them came the most important thing I asked myself, “am I comfortable with how I am now? Or do those thoughts I had all those years ago mean something?”

This question isnt easy. Gender is a strange subject and is different to everyone who experiences something with their identity, so I wont pretend like I have any definitive answers for anything because, there arent really any of those. The question for myself, boiled down to “Am I more comfortable identifying as transfeminine, or am I comfortable with just being nonbinary.” This question vexed me for a little while. It hurt to think about. A lifetime of bullying and being made to be ashamed of my body type and stature had made my confidence in myself rather lackluster. This made the decision more difficult. It would be easy to try and own a sense of pride in being a masculine presenting nonbinary person. There aren’t many of those in representation as I mentioned before, and at the time it made me feel nice to think that it was what I wanted. But those thoughts I had all those years ago did mean something, and thats not who I am. The answer I ultimately came to, was that I am trans, and want to present more feminine than masculine, because that’s who I know I am, and not just what I think would be easiest. So, to bring it all together, how the everloving fuck does this relate to a character from a gacha game? Well, when i first saw Ladiva I nearly wrote her off as a character that probably was used as a disrespectful  joke on trans women and how they’re viewed. She’s not though. She has an entire montra of loving herself and others for who they are and owning every aspect of herself, including her body. She’s not a small lady, she’s a large/muscular wrestler who, in no mistake of words, still looks very masculine, right down to her facial hair. But none of that matters, not her appearance, not her beard, not her height, she’s still a woman and she’s seen as one by the others around her because, well, that’s what she is. She makes it known and others accept, or at the very least, respect it. It was something entirely new to see something like this in a form of popular media, and in turn it gave me an odd sense of self confidence in my own current appearance, even though I do intend on changing it through HRT and other means (exercise and other health related means). It meant a lot to me to see someone who was, in at least some way, like me who was loved by the community of the game she was in. And it still does. In conclusion, Ladiva is a very cool character, and her existing gave me a boost of confidence that helped lead me towards accepting things about myself that I had found it hard to previously. Go look into Granblue if you like games like that, there’s even a fighting game that came out not too long ago. Thanks for reading, if you did, this whole post is long and kind of dumb because I’m kind of dumb. But I wanted to put it somewhere. Have a nice day <3

[timextoxhajima]

Grounded: Level 7

Level 6 | Level 8

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader, angst cause is it a dana fic if there is no angst

Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine @licorice526​ @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs @yunapixie ​

[P R E S E N T]

Dispatch: TXT’s Yeonjun and BigHit Trainee Rumored to be Dating

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, no, indeed.” Ju Rin pulls out the roller chair by the table with the iPad sitting on the wooden surface. 

“We literally just went out to the convenience store and... how do people even know I’m a trainee?”

Ju Rin blinks and rubs her eyes, subtly shrugging. “I don’t know what these people don’t know. Anyway, Bang PD’s already spoken to Yeonjun and I. I don’t know if he needs to speak to you because he knows the two of you aren’t dating, but might I suggest you be mighty careful when you leave the building now?”

“Yeah, sure,” A gentle frown befalls your face. “I just... Don’t really know what else I need to do to keep myself under wraps, you know? What’s gonna happen when our pre-debut photoshoot is released? I’m gonna be shat on by-”

“Hold your horses, now,” Ju Rin sighs and sits up, resting her arms on the table. “Look, BigHit’s going to release a statement denying the rumors tonight. Once that’s done, I doubt there’s much you need to worry about... Or can, rather. It’s not like everybody’s going to love us when we finally debut.”

“Yeonjun’s not gonna get shat on for this, right?”

“He’s probably getting shat on now but that’s not in our control, is it?”

Ju Rin’s look of slight nonchalance drifts to you, and you can’t help but return her worry in the form of furrowed eyebrows and tired eyes. 

“Look, I know you worry for Yeonjun, but he’s fine, believe me. Worry about yourself, and protect your identity first.”

Frustration clouds your head when you dig your fingers into your hair, eyes drifting from the table to Ju Rin. All the things the leader has to take care of, and you haven’t even debuted. 

As if the day couldn’t get anymore unpredictable, the shadow striding across the breadth of the translucent door of the conference room you were just in confuses you even more. 

Ju Rin was a few steps ahead of you, with her hand on the door handle, completely frozen. Then her voice runs through the air in utter disbelief. 

“You should not be here.”

The relaxed black hair is new, but there was no way you wouldn’t recognise that forehead, those brows and those eyes. Shoving your way between her and the frame of the door, you whack him gently on his arm before tugging on his jacket. 

“What the Hell are you doing here?!” Seething through your teeth, the words are strained and you pray that he’ll understand you. 

Ju Rin does not know what happened between Yeonjun and I. 

“You are the last person who should be here!” 

“I just- I wanted to talk to you.”

Minho’s voice is low and muffled with the mask on. 

How the Hell did he even get here without being spotted? Did his manager drive him?

“Jesus, get in,” Ju Rin halts the conversation before it gets any more intense, literally grabbing the materials around your shoulders and yanking you back into the conference room. The door clicks gently behind her as she scans the corridor, you and Minho shooting each other confusing glances. 

Ju Rin sighs heavily once she notices the death glare Minho is offering you. The eyebags beneath his lashes are more obvious than the Dispatch news that erupted all over social media just this morning. 

“I’m going to assume neither of you want me in the room when you have this conversation?”

Minho finally shifts his attention from you to Ju Rin, pupils slowly gravitating toward the ground like he was guilty - no, because he was.

“Does Chan-sunbaenim know you’re here?”

He nods. 

“Did you come alone?”

“My manager dropped me off.”

“Your what-”

Ju Rin quickly shushes you, brows furrowing upon the realisation that him being here must hold more than there is to the eye. 

“Is he coming to pick you up soon?”

“I have 20 minutes- Well, now probably about 15.”

Your fists are sweating and the sweat’s that collecting in the middle of your chest is slowly dampening the rim of your bra. 

“Fine, fine,” Ju Rin regains her composure and waves it off. “15 minutes. Then you better leave before more people find out you’re here.”

“Ju Rin-”

“No,” She holds your hands and pulls you closer, volume just loud enough for you to hear. “You stay and listen to what he has to say. You don’t have to tell me after, but you can if you want to, okay? I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Her hands slide out right beneath yours, and she offers you a reassuring smile before heading for the door, sending Minho one last glance as she closes the door behind her. 

You didn’t even notice how hard your heart is thumping because you were too occupied with trying to read his expression as he removes his mask.

“Minho, what are you-”

“Is it true? The news?”

A frown cements on your forehead. “What? Yeonjun and me? Dating? God, no! What- why would you-”

“Because I know he friendzoned you last year, maybe he realised he messed up and he does reciprocate.”

“I don’t understand why you’re mad about this-”

“I’m not mad.”

“You’re not listening to yourself, are you?”

“I swear on God, I am not mad,” He huffs, running his hand through his hair. “I’m just... worried. You haven’t debuted and yet you’ve been swept up in this situation? Then what? Are you expected to cut off all contact with other people? How were you so careless?”

“BigHit’s releasing a statement tonight denying it. Yeonjun knows it’s fake. I know it’s fake. Everybody in this building knows it’s fake. It’s not going to be a problem-”

“You don’t know that. Do you know how careful I was when I just debuted? I didn’t want to drag anybody down with me if I did something wrong-”

“Minho, what are you really here for?” 

He finally shuts up, but his eyes are shaking, it’s scaring you. 

“You’re here just to get back at me for not understanding why you did what you did back then, aren’t you?”

He clenches his jaws and you can see his temples tightening.

“I thought we were past that. I thought the day I sobbed over Yeonjun was a great way for me to say sorry and that I was a complete idiot for being completely absorbed in myself.”

It irks you that he hasn’t said a word since you asked him that tormented question. 

“So you agree,” A slight nod finds your nerves. It feels like the world is against you now. The finish line at your feet, with all the people you thought had your back standing right behind you - only for you to realise that none of it is true. The finish line is slowly inching away, and everybody else is just looking back down at you instead. 

“I thought you were more than whoever I thought you were. I thought-”

“y/n,” The door clicks open, interrupting you. 

“What?! I’m in the middle of something over here-”

“Can you shut the fuck up and listen to him?” Ju Rin’s angry now, and it stuns you. You’ve never seen her angry. 

The anger in your blood is definitely drowning your logic, but you can’t ever prepare yourself for the view of Minho looking like he’s about to burst into a billion tears before you. 

“y/n, I just thought the news was true so I...”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Ju Rin finally steps between the two of you, magnifying your attention to her. “Minho thought it was real and he wanted to come over to ask if it was true, because the dumbass doesn’t want it to be.”

...What?

“What?”

“Look, I came over because I wanted to hear it for myself that the news wasn’t true, okay? I can’t... I can’t swallow it if I knew you were with Yeonjun, and that you chose to do it at a time most detrimental to your future and your career.”

Is this real? Is whatever Minho saying true? Is whatever Ju Rin saying what you think she’s saying? What if this is just another Yeonjun situation, and you make a fool out of yourself?

“No, there’s absolutely no reason why you wouldn’t be able to-”

“I meant it when I said I’ll always be here for you, because I didn’t think- I didn’t think today will come so fast, that I’ll be scared of losing you to someone else, putting me in a position where I can’t even fight for something I want... just because my dream is in the way; just because I’m a celebrity.”

Ju Rin’s shifted herself out from between you, but you didn’t even notice because you’re busy shattering over the look in Minho’s eyes, and he wasn’t even looking at you. 

“You used to need my help and my encouragement when we first met, but it’s different now, and I hate it because... it’ll get in both of our ways, yours especially.”

It sinks into a pool of satin and sad, mopey tears, your heart, when you piece the broken parts together. Broken parts of him that you didn’t even know were broken. 

“You used to need me, but now I need you. And I hate it because I can’t keep you by my side like a normal 23 year old can.”

His knuckles are the shade of the sun on a good day - perfectly white to the human eye - as his grip on the table is starting to tip the entire furniture over. He can’t bring himself to face you, and you understand perfectly why. 

He’s just put a halt to your decision to debut, because that would mean a good few years before you can date and you wouldn’t be completely trashed by the public. And even more importantly, he’s just confessed without knowing if you reciprocated his feelings; without knowing if your heart had ever been placed in his palms. 

But lucky for him, it’s always been in the heart of his palm. He just didn’t know it. 

His pride has been sucked out of him like the Grim Reaper collecting a soul, so you decide to be the one to relief him of his ache and take a few wary steps towards him. The skin on your forearms rub against the material of his jacket as you slowly nestle your head into his shoulder, fingers intertwining behind his lower back. 

“If that’s your way of saying ‘I love you’, then I love you too.”

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Reaction: You are their celebrity crush and they meet you backstage

Namjoon

Namjoon had seen you post on your social media that you were going to be attending their concert tonight. He had never felt so nervous performing up on stage before. And you were in the front row too. He saw you every time he walked to the right side of the stage and he felt his heart flutter slightly in his chest every time the two of your eyes met. Especially when your face broke out into a wide grin every time. You even waved and winked at him and he almost forgot the words to the song he was singing. 

It’s now after the show and Namjoon is sitting in the chair letting the staff take off all his makeup when Jin bursts through the door. 

“Jin? What are you doing?”

“Thank me later Namjoon!” He rushes back out and a few moments later after the staff is done fussing over him he goes to leave. When he opens the door he sees you standing there, shyly fidgeting with your hands. 

“Y-y/n?!”

“Hi! Um, Jin gave me a backstage pass he said you wanted to meet me? Although I must admit I have no idea why.” 

“Because he has a big fat crush on you that’s why!” Jin yells from down the hall. 

“Oh my god I am going to kill him.” Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs heavily. When he finally looks up he sees surprise evident on your features. 

“You have a crush on me? Oh if my bandmates were here to witness this they would be freaking out because literally all I talk about with them is how you are my biggest celebrity crush. I have your photo card in the back of my phone, look!” You bring your phone out to show him and sure enough he’s looking right at himself. He can’t help the chuckle that escapes him. 

“I guess maybe I can let Jin live another day then. Listen I know it’s late and everything but we usually get something to eat after the show. Would you like to come to dinner with me? I’d let to get to know you. The real you. Not just the celebrity y/n.” You blush and smile at that. 

“I’d really like that.”

Jin

Big Hit had decided to do something a little bit different for this concert than they had for ones in the past. Certain ticket numbers were also given a backstage pass to see how they prepare for the shows, take a tour of everything behind the scenes, and then at the end of this they would get to meet the members before they had to get ready to go on stage. Jin knew by now they would soon be walking to the room where they all sit to calm their nerves before the show started. So he decided to plop himself down on the couch as a surprise for the army that would be coming there shortly.

He heard voices in the hallway approaching the door which was soon followed by yells of surprise when they saw him sitting casually on the couch. 

“Jin! You are supposed to be getting your hair and makeup done what are you doing back here?”

“It’s done already. It doesn’t take very long for this handsome face.” He hears a giggle that is all too familiar to him and his gaze snaps to the left to find you, his celebrity crush for the past 6 month standing there. 

“Y-you’re y/n!” 

“Indeed I am. And you’re Jin.” 

“What are you doing here?!”

“It just so happened one of my tickets was the lucky one that got the back stage tour. And who gets to meet the other members too.” The other fans are glancing between the two of you and Jin decides to pull himself together long enough to speak to you like a normal human being. 

“Well, that’s great then. I guess I will get to meet you officially shortly then.” He waves at all of the other fans and they are beginning to file out of the room and continue on with the tour. You are the last one to leave but before you can make it too far out the door Jin lightly places his hand on your shoulder and pulls you back into the room. 

“Hey! Jin what are you doing? Let me go I need to stay with the group!”

“No please wait a minute I just.. Okay gosh I was not expecting this but now that you’re here I just have to take the opportunity to tell you something.”

“Okay? What’s up?”

“This is going to sound really stupid, or weird, I don’t know. But I have been really crushing on you for the past months and I just wanted to know if there is a chance you would maybe go on a date with me?” He says everything in a rush and you almost think you misheard what he said. 

“I’m sorry? Did you just ask me on a date?”

“Yes.. I did.. You don’t have to say yes though you can shut me down it’s alright. My pride might hurt a little bit, but nothing is ever gained in life without a few risks right?” You can see the tips of his ears turning red in slight embarrassment and nervousness as he confesses to you. 

“So, let me get this straight. You, Kim Seokjin, The guy I have had the biggest celebrity crush on for the past year or so is asking me on a date?”

“Yes?”

“I accept.” 

“Good. When are you free?”

“Tomorrow? Evening? Say around 7?”

“Wanna do dinner?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Good glad we had this talk.” You both look at each other in silence for a few moments before you both burst out laughing. 

“I better get going, before they assume I’ve snuck off and done something to you. Give me your phone I’ll give you my number.” He does and you text yourself so you both have each other’s number. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you.” He smiles at you and brings your hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it. You blush and pull your hand away before scurrying out the door to catch up with the others. “She’s so cute, oh gosh! What am I going to do with myself?” 

Yoongi

Yoongi was backstage talking to Hoseok. They were walking down the hallway heading towards the dressing rooms to get ready for their performance. 

“Yoongi I don’t see why you don’t just talk to y/n. She’s here right now, backstage somewhere I am sure. This could be your big chance to make a move!”

“Move? What move? The only move I will be making is hastily towards the exit if I see her.”

“But why? You’ve been crushing on her for such a long time now! You listen to her music all the time and just look sad or absolutely smitten. Come on she probably has a little celebrity crush on you too. Every time she has described her ideal type it’s almost been an exact match to you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you not listen to her last interview? She described you to a T. Doesn’t outwardly show affection but loves to show they care and love someone by how they take care of them. Loves holding hands, a bit intimidating but really is just a big softie, good sense of humor. That’s you.”

“She doesn't even know me Hoseok. And I don’t really know her either. I just know that she's very talented, we have similar taste in music, and she’s very kind, and sweet, and funny, and passionate, and-”

“S M I T T E N.” Yoongi pushes him backwards playfully, not realizing you were walking fairly close behind them until he was pushed right into you. You yelp and almost fall over but Yoongi quickly turns around and grabs you to pull you back up before you could fall. He didn’t notice it was you at first because he was looking away in embarrassment. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were behind us or I never would have- wait a minute.. Y/n?!”

“Um.. Hi Yoongi.” 

“Oh god did you hear our conversation?”

“I might have... I didn’t mean to eavesdrop I swear! But I had to head back here and I heard my name mentioned and I just couldn’t help it.. okay I totally meant to eavesdrop I was curious.”

“I am so embarrassed this is awful.” He groans into his hands as they cover his face.

“Why are you embarrassed? Hoseok is right you know.” He drops his hands immediately and his eyes widen.

“Wait, seriously? You were thinking about me when you answered that question?”

“I was.. Sorry if that’s a little weird I know we don’t know each other but.. the glimpses I see of the real you and not just the stage persona well, I really like who that person is.” Yoongi can’t help the smile that spreads across his face as he smiles at you.

“Well we could get to know each other better? You want to meet up after the award show?”

“I’d love to!”

Hoseok

Hoseok was walking back stage with Jungkook when he saw you wandering around looking lost. 

“Hyung! Now’s your chance go talk to her!”

“Jungkook I can’t do that I’m too nervous! She’s just so cute look at her.”

“But she’s lost. And by the looks of it she’s coming this way now go!” He shoves him forward and Hoseok loses his footing almost running right into you. 

“Uhm.. Hello I’m y/n. I am kind of lost, I was supposed to find dressing room E but I seem to have made a wrong turn somewhere.” You grin sheepishly and twirl your hair around your fingers, a nervous habit that Hoseok had noticed when you were talking up on stage earlier to accept your groups award. 

“I’m Hoseok! But you can call me Hobi. And I know right where that is, I’ll take you there.”

“Oh no you don’t have to do that if you just point me the right way! I am sure you are very busy preparing for your stage performance too.” 

“It’s no trouble. Believe me. I’m heading back that way anyway because it’s pretty close to our room.” He sees a faint blush on your cheeks as you smile at him. 

“Thank you!” Hoseok walks much slower than usual in order to spend more time talking with you. He can’t help it. You’re just so adorable and sweet. And it’s when you laugh loudly at something that he says that he finally has the courage to ask you out. 

“So, um... I know this might sound kind of weird but I might have a small crush on you. And I was wondering if maybe after the show if you wanted to come with me to get something to eat? There is a restaurant that not many people know about so we wouldn’t have to worry about being seen.”  You stare at him for a moment in shock.

“Is this actually happening right now? Oh my gosh I have had a big old crush on you too and I never in a million years thought you would want to go out with me. But yes! I’d love to!”

“Okay. I’ll meet you back here after the show then. Good luck y/n!”

“You too, Hobi. Fighting!”

Jimin

“Hey Jimin! Isn’t that y/n?” 

“What where?!” Jimin turns around and glances around the room, only to see there is no one in the room but him and the other members. “Ha ha very funny you guys.” 

“You’ve been on edge all night Jimin. And this is our dressing room why would y/n be in here?”

“I don’t know okay! I just know that her group is here which means she is around here somewhere and I am so nervous to run into her.”

“Aww, Jimin! Your crush on her is adorable.”

“No it’s not. I like someone that doesn’t even know I exist.” He slumps in his chair and Jungkook lets out an incredulous huff.

“Seriously hyung? Y/n knows who you are trust me. I don’t think there is anyone at this award show that doesn’t know who you are.” 

“But she doesn’t know the real me, only the stage persona. I want her to know who I am. And I want to know her too..” He rests his head back and stares up at the ceiling when suddenly the door to their room is opening and who should be standing there but you.

“Oh god I am so sorry! I thought this was my dressing room I am such an idiot. Why did they number the doors instead of putting the bands’ names on there.”  You go to close the door when Jungkook calls out after you.

“Wait! Hey, you’re y/n right?” You blush and look away. 

“Y-you guys know me?”

“Of course! We know all the groups here tonight. You’re really good. Your vocals and dancing absolutely kill poor Jiminie here every time.” He smacks a hand on Jimin’s shoulder and he quickly shrugs it off.

“Shut up Jungkook!”

“Oh yes our Jimin here is a huuuuge fan of you he talks about you all the time!” Jimin’s face is bright red as he hides his face in his hands and you are standing there in shock. 

“Is that true, Jimin? You’re my fan?” He lowers his hands for a moment and immediately feels his nerves vanish when he sees the sweet smile on your face.

“Yes! I mean I think you’re amazing er your dancing is amazing yes.” 

“That’s so cool to hear coming from you. I really like you too- I mean your dancing! I really like your dancing as well.” 

Taehyung chuckles deeply from the other end of the room where he’s sat in a chair getting his makeup touched up. 

“Jimin just ask y/n out already this is painful you both clearly are crushing on each other.” 

“Tae!”

“What? You were never going to say anything so I did!”  They begin bickering back and forth as you stand there awkwardly listening to them argue. You clear your throat loudly and they stop and turn to you.

“So... I guess if it’s pretty clear we both would like to go out and get to know each other better why don’t we do that then?” Jimin is surprised by your boldness when you seemed so shy earlier. “You want to maybe to get some dessert or something after the show? There’s an ice cream place I know of that’s open really late if you’d like to go with me.”

“Yes! I’d love to!” You smile and wave goodbye to everyone. 

“I’ll see you after the show then, Jimin. Bye for now!” You smile sweetly and wave and Jimin is left there with his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise and his hand still raised. 

“You’re welcome.” Taehyung mumbles.

Taehyung

You were currently being shoved along by your fellow group member toward where BTS was sitting. It was in between the sets currently and the cameras were not rolling for a while as there was going to be a commercial break while they prepared for the second half of the award show. 

“Stop it!”

“No! You’ve been crushing on Taehyung for so long now and there is no one sitting by him right now so I am not letting you pass this opportunity.” You roll your eyes and try to fight against her but she’s stronger than you. She continues pushing you along until you are about 10 seats way from him. Taehyung sees movement out of the corner of his eye and turns his head. As soon as his eyes meet yours they widen slightly and he looks away. 

“See? He wants nothing to do with me let me go!” 

“Not happening. Go get your man.” With one final shove you are now standing right in front of him. He looks up at you and you feel like the wind is knocked out of you when that signature sweet boxy smile is directed at you. 

“H-Hi Taehyung.” 

“Hello y/n. Are you and your member fighting?” 

“That? Oh no we just had a um.. disagreement I guess. We’re not seriously mad at each other though.”

“Ah, I see. I was going to say you’re more than welcome to sit with me for a little while if you want to. Show shouldn’t be starting again for another 10 minutes.” You nod gratefully and sit next to him. Taehyung might seem cool and collected on the outside, but inside he is internally panicking because holy shit he is actually talking to his celebrity crush right now. He is still in the middle of his mini freak out and admiring how beautiful you look when he notices you staring at him as if you’re expecting him to answer. 

“Sorry! Did you say something?” You giggle. 

“You space out an awful lot Taehyung. I asked you if you’re nervous at all for your performance tonight.” 

“Of course I am. We always have a little bit of anxious and excited nerves before going on stage. But we have some big stuff planned and I can’t wait to show army and everyone else! It’s going to be really cool.” 

“Ah I can’t wait to see it. Your performances always blow me away.”

“Really?”

“Of course! You guys are all so amazing. You’re extremely talented and I admire you a lot.” Taehyung smiles genuinely at that and his eyes seem to light up at your compliment. 

“Thank you. It means a lot to hear that coming from you.” Before you’re able to ask him what he means by that your bandmate is yelling for you.

“Y/n! They changed the order we’re performing next after they present the next award we need to go!”

“Shit. I’m sorry Taehyung I need to go now. Thank you for letting me sit with you though.” You get up to walk away but before you make it too far you hear him calling after you. 

“Wait!” You turn around abruptly and he almost runs right into you.

“Can I get your number?”

“You want my phone number? Why?”

“To talk to you more, silly.” You blush but take his phone from him and enter in your contact information. “Good luck y/n. Not that you’ll need it.” He winks at you and you swear your soul has left your body. 

“T-thank you!” You run to join your group back stage. While you’re being fussed over to prepare for your performance your phone goes off with a text message. It’s a selfie of Taehyung doing his signature V pose with a bright smile on his face. 

You’ll do great y/n! I believe in you! I’ll be cheering you on loudly from the seats so please look for me. 

You smile and set your phone down. As if you’d be looking for anyone else. 

Jungkook

Your table was right next to Jungkook’s. And you had caught him staring at you more than once during the show. He seemed to be zoned out, mouth slightly hanging open and eyes wide as he gazed at you but as soon as you turned your head and looked back at him he immediately turned away. And you could swear there was a faint blush on his cheeks when he did. After the 3rd time this had happened you saw Jin slap him on the back and say something that caused him to turn even more red and push Jin away from him. 

“Fine then if you won’t talk to her I will.”

“Hyung no don’t-”

“Hey! Y/n, come here for a sec.” You point at yourself and tilt your head in confusion. 

“Are there any other y/n’s around here?”

“Probably but I am just going to assume you are talking about me.” You get up and slide your chair over to sit next to Jungkook, who seems to shy away from you and sit closer to Jin. “So what’s up?”

“Nothing really! Just wanted to tell you that you did an amazing job up on stage before! Your rap was amazing you really commanded the stage up there.”

“Oh! Thank you! I can’t wait to see your performance as well you guys always kill it.” 

“Well, I think you’ll especially love Jungkook’s performance here.” 

“Oh? Really? What do you have planned?” 

“N-nothing! I mean.. it’s something I just don’t want to spoil the surprise but, it’s just me doing a solo dance to a remixed version of Save Me. Um, there’s water and it’s really cool. I had a lot of fun practicing for it and I can’t wait to show people.” Jungkook seemed to have really opened up when talking about performing, and you could tell he was truly passionate about it.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing then. You’re a really good dancer and an amazing singer. Your voice gives me chills.” You pretend to shiver for added dramatic effect and a small laugh escapes Jungkook. His nose scrunches up and you have a sudden urge to poke it. 

“Ah you should have heard him going on and on during rehearsals. ‘I need to make this perfect because y/n will be attending this show.’ It was rather cute to be honest.” 

“Hyung! Stop it!” 

“Is that true Jungkook? You were worried what I would think of it?” He looks at you, eyes widened slightly but he nods his head before looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his hands. 

“Well I already think you’re great so I am sure I will love this performance too.” He continues to mess with the rings on his hands as if he’s debating whether or not he should say anything further. You wait patiently and give him time to decide whether or not he wants to speak to you further. 

“Well, I’d really like to know what you think of my performance after the show. Do you maybe want to talk more when we’re done?” You smile warmly at him and it makes his heart skip a beat.

“I would love to. You maybe want to go get some hot chocolate or something? My friend owns a 24/7 cafe and if I tell her we all want to go there after the show she can close down for a little bit so we can just have the place to ourselves.”

“Actually I’d um.. like it to just be the two of us. If that’s okay with you! If not that’s totally fine I can-”

“Even better. I’ll tell her to expect us later today then. The cameras are going to go back on soon though so I’m going to go back to my table. But wait for me after the show okay?”

“Okay. I’ll see you later then y/n.” You scoot your chair back over. After you are out of hearing distance Jin smacks Jungkook's shoulder. 

“You’re welcome for setting you up on a date with the love of your life!”

“She’s not the love of my life I just.. have a crush on her.” 

“Either way, a thank you hyung would be nice.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. 

“Thank you, hyung.” 

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines by DarkChild316

Being a hero isn’t easy, but someone’s gotta do it! And these ladies have shown to be just as capable as their male counterparts. Now I’ve already done a list showing everyone “My Top 10 Anime Villainesses”, but I figured: “Hey the good girls deserve some love too,” so I decided to give you guys my list of my Favorite Anime Heroines as well. So, with that in mind, here’s my list:

#10. Saeko Busujima (Highschool of the Dead): This is an anime that will give you plenty of two things in abundance…boobs and zombies! While it may seem like your run-of-the-mill apocalyptic fanservice anime, among the well-proportioned ladies is this kendo warrior who’s more than capable of holding her own against any foe and would fit right in with even the most old-school samurai-themed anime. When the dead start to walking most of the cast usually reach for a form of firearms, not this lady who prefers to slice apart the undead with the greatest of discipline and precision, whether it be with her signature bokken or her deadly Murata-tou sword. There’s no denying that Saeko’s the ideal companion we’d want on our side for a zombie apocalypse.

#9. Touka Kirishima (Tokyo Ghoul): Living as a ghoul isn’t easy, especially when you’re trying your damnest to retain what little remains of your humanity. Starting off as a cold, yet collected individual, Touka found shelter in both the horrors of her dark past and her constant hunger for flesh in her day job at a café as a waitress which serves other ghouls and as a hangout stop for ghouls. While she grew warmer as her relationship with one Ken Kaneki grew, she’s not without her bestial side, possessing an abject hatred for the CCG after they killed her parents. In a series where everyone seems to be on the edge of insanity and turning into a rampaging, bloodthirsty monster, Touka is one of the few characters genuinely fighting for a chance at a peaceful life.

#8. Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist): Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye is undoubtedly one of the best female anime characters of all time and for good reason, she is truly the perfect soldier. As both an Amestrian State Military’s officer as well as Colonel Roy Mustang’s bodyguard, Riza Hawkeye is a dangerous sharpshooter and firearms specialist. From the outside she can seem strict and even a little cold, but those close to her know that there’s much more to her than her strict no-nonsense attitude, including a courteous nature in the presence of her allies and a desire to protect those she holds dear. Beneath the strict persona is a kind soul who understands the difficulty of carrying a heavy burden and let’s not forget…she’s a true badass in every sense o the word!

#7. Erza Scarlett (Fairy Tail): She went from child slave to arguably one of the strongest mages in all of Fiore. All while battling against S-Class mages, terrifying demons, and even her own psychotic mother, now that’s dedication folks! Forced by her possessed childhood friend to build the Tower of Heaven, she manages to escape her captivity and make her way to Fairy Tail, where she would soon rise to become one of Fairy Tail’s youngest S-Class mages and one of the most truly badass fighters in Fairy Tail’s ranks. With her magical ability known as Re-Quip, she has an unlimited number of weapons and armors at her disposal, each possessing their own devastating abilities. She’s a stoic warrior with a soft heat and a dark past, and you can bet your ass that she’ll fight to defend her Nakama to the bitter end.

#6. Ryuko Matoi (Kill la Kill): Her choice of armor may be a bit on the revealing side but going against this rebel isn’t the smartest idea if you value your life. You’re not likely to find a more stubborn soul in this absolutely whacky series and trust me…NONE of these characters are on the subtle side of things. In search of her father’s killer, Ryuko takes up the sentient life-fiber uniform Senketsu, and openly battles the dictatorship that is the Student Council. Stubborn as hell, Ryuko will always stand up to anyone who gets in her way, no matter how badly the odds are stacked against her. How can you not love someone with that kind of drive!

#5. Saber (Fate/stay night): Before she became a hero in the endless Holy Grail Wars, Saber was actually Artoria Pendragon, known throughout history as King Arthur, the mythical King who united Britain. As the Saber-class servant, Artoria generally tries to hide her identity in battle by using an invisible sword. When pushed, she can brandish Excalibur instead though, a sword she wields with unmatched skill and can do long-range attacks as easily as close-range. With her holy sword, and her “Mana Burst” ability, she is one of the most powerful Servants. Saber is loved by fans worldwide for good reason: she is kind, valiant, and fierce, all traits that make for one divine heroine. None would mind putting the fate of the world in this blonde beauty's hands.

#4. Mikasa Ackerman (Attack on Titan): Attack on Titan's Mikasa is one of those reserved, stoic characters who doesn't speak very often and seems to be stuck in her own head. After all the trauma she’s experienced living under the looming terror of Titans and the carnage she witnessed while part of the Survey Corps, not to mention the brutal murder of her biological parents by criminals, it would be difficult to come out unscathed. Perhaps it’s endurance that is one of Mikasa’s most relatable traits. Despite her often-cynical comments about the world around her, she manages to retain her humanity. Mikasa herself said, “This world is cruel. And yet... so beautiful.” The stereotypical boy-saves-girl gender roles that play out in media are also very much reversed when it comes to her relationship with Eren, which is a refreshing and welcome change of pace to see, though her protectiveness of him seems a little unhealthy at times. On top of everything mentioned, she’s also totally ripped.

#3. Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion): I just couldn’t leave out Neon Genesis Evangelion’s Asuka Langey Soryu from this list of awesome female protagonists. Asuka is a classic anime heroine and remains beloved by fans of the show to this day. Asuka is an American teenage girl who serves as an Eva pilot for the Evangelion Project and pilots the Evangelion Unit-02. Asuka was raised in Germany and often swears in German. She was a child prodigy with a college degree at only fourteen years old, but definitely has her human flaws. She has a temper and is obsessed with being the best at everything she does. Despite these flaws, Asuka is hilarious in her own way and has the kind of confidence and pride you rarely see in a young girl. She knows she can do her job well and isn't afraid to tell you about it. Asuka is relatable in that she is stubborn and often has a hard time properly expressing her feelings and vulnerability to others. Her eventual nervous breakdown shines a light on her humanity-- she is not a perfect person and she is still a child forced to do a job that no child should be forced to do.

#2. Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell): Major Motoko Kusanagi is one of the primary protagonists of the popular Ghost in the Shell franchise of manga, films, and animated series. Motoko is a cyborg who works as a field commander for Public Security Section 9 on the Japanese National Public Safety Commission. Motoko is a very physically strong and incredibly intellectual who that is quick-witted and an excellent hacker. But put a firearm in her hand, and she’s especially deadly. As a child, Motoko was comatose following an airplane accident. After her health began to steadily decline, her consciousness was put into a  "full-body prosthesis,” an augmented-cybernetic human body. Motoko causes us to question exactly what makes us human. She is an emotional, stoic, strong woman who fights for the citizens she protects, yet she lives inside an artificial body. But her greatest use is as a platform to speak on the nature of humanity in a technological age. She's a human mind that has been stuck in an artificial body since childhood, and her life and trials bring up the age-old question, "What does it mean to be human?"

#1. Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon): You really can’t have a list of awesome female protagonists without including everyone’s favorite schoolgirl superhero: Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon. Usagi is the embodiment of an empowering female in anime in her fearless display of conventional femininity without any implied weakness. Usagi is your typical teenage girl who is all about her friends, food, and cute things, while simultaneously being a badass heroine who cleanses the streets of evil. In the original manga and anime, Usagi was portrayed as reluctant to be a superhero and would often run away from fights and be a crybaby. However, through her careful character development, Usagi becomes a brave, reliable, and confident person who cares deeply for her friends. She becomes a better version of herself without stereotypically “shedding” her girliness. Instead, her femininity becomes a defining feature of hers, deconstructing the idea that being girly makes you weak. On the contrary, Usagi’s girliness makes her funny, relatable, and a good role model for young girls. Usagi set the template for a generation of female heroines for generations to come, and it’s for that reason why she’s well-deserving of my #1 ranking on my list.

So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroines are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 4

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-3 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Thank you to everyone who reblogged the last chapter and an extra special thank you to @storiesofsvu @ghostwritingcabenson @oliviaswifey @denpine @cabensons and my two anons for your kind words and encouragement to keep going with this.

Approaching the entryway to her middle school in the morning was always a scary thought for Olivia, but at 6 o’clock on the night of her first school dance, the entryway seemed downright menacing. Other students were excitedly approaching the entryway－some with groups of friends, others with dates－but none seemed to be as nervous as Olivia.

“Ms. Benson, can you take a picture of Olivia and me together?” Alex asked. She handed her phone over to Serena and yet another wave of nervousness hit Olivia. She’s going to hug me or something and my mom is going to freak out again.

The two of them posed near the colorful Spring Fling banner with Olivia afraid to even wrap her arm around Alex. She had wanted to get the pictures over with until she saw how disappointed Alex looked. 

“Loosen up, kid,” Jamie teased her. “It’s your first dance, not your first day of school. Why don’t you twirl her?”

Olivia gave her a confused look. “Twirl her? How?”

“Like this,” Jamie held out her hand for her girlfriend. “Serena.”

Alex and Olivia watched as Jamie did a twirling pose with Serena. When she decided to actually twirl her, Serena let out a squeal that made Alex giggle.

She grabbed Olivia’s hand and tried to get Olivia to go along with it. “Olivia! Twirl me, please! That looks so cute!”

With an encouraging look from Jamie, Olivia held Alex’s hand and raised her arm up to twirl her. Alex smiled and giggled and Olivia considered that giggle to be her new favorite sound and she was now willing to do just about anything to hear it again. 

Alex looked so beautiful and so happy in the pictures and, although she wasn’t too big on social media, Olivia couldn’t wait to post them and brag to everyone about her girlfriend.

“I’ll send you the pictures, Ms. Benson,” Alex said while scrolling through her phone. “You too, Olivia. I’m going to post these and show everyone how cute and dapper my girlfriend is.”

“Alex! Alex!” They heard a girl shout. Olivia looked ahead and saw Serena Southerlyn, Alex’s best friend, walking toward them.

“Hi, Serena!” Alex responded. 

Olivia watched as the two of them hugged and complimented each other’s dresses and hair. She liked seeing Alex with her friends because it made her feel like she was in some sort of alternate universe. Olivia’s friends were mostly boys and they wouldn’t be caught dead complimenting each other’s appearance. Instead, there were high-fives when they greeted each other and the occasional teasing that was all in fun.

“We should go in now,” Alex said to Jamie and Serena. “Thank you Ms. Castillo and Ms. Benson. I appreciate you both bringing us.” 

"What's the rush?" Alex's best friend asked Alex and Olivia. Olivia noticed her girlfriend roll her eyes when Serena approached Jamie. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Serena Southerlyn. I'm a friend of Alex's and an acquaintance of Olivia's. You are the most dashing woman I have ever seen. Would you escort me to the dance?"

Alex covered her face with her hands. "Serena! You have a girlfriend."

Olivia looked at her mom who had started scrolling through her phone to prevent herself from laughing, but her movement got the attention of the younger Serena. "Who is she?" the twelve-year-old Serena asked Jamie with a disgusted look on her face. 

Jamie reached for her girlfriend’s hand. "She's my girlfriend who is also named Serena."

"And she's my mommy," Olivia said defensively. Once the word 'mommy' came out of her mouth, she was grateful the guys weren't around. Instead it was just Alex who looked at her adoringly.

"You are a very beautiful girl," Jamie began. "And I'm sure you're aware that girls named Serena are always the prettiest and always the most special, which is why there's only room for one Serena in my heart, but I know for a fact it won't be long before some girl sweeps you off your feet."

Alex tugged at Serena’s arm to get her to leave with them. "Some girl already has. She has a girlfriend, one whose parents will be dropping her off at the designated drop off area any time now."

"Fine," twelve-year-old Serena yanked her arm from Alex's grip before gesturing to the older Serena. "If this doesn't work out, Jamie, you know where to find me.”

Mrs. Carmichael’s SUV pulled into the drop off area and when Abbie stepped out of the vehicle in the same navy blue and floral criss cross fit and flare dress as Serena, Serena ran over to her without saying another word. 

It had taken every ounce of willpower she had, but Serena Benson had managed to hold in her laughter until the twelve-year-old Serena was out of earshot. “If she’s like that at twelve, what is she going to be like at seventeen?” She playfully smacked Jamie’s arm. “I guess I just have five years left with you.”

“Forgive her,” Alex smiled nervously. “Ever since she turned twelve, all she can think about is women. And please don’t judge me based on my best friend. I promise my heart belongs only to Olivia.”

Once she heard that, Olivia couldn’t decide if she wanted to beam with pride because of how Alex felt or cease to exist because of how her mom would react. With no idea what to do with herself, she stood there with her eyes wide.

“I’m sure you’re the perfect girlfriend for Olivia,” Serena said as she pulled Olivia in and gave her a tight embrace. Olivia felt like her circulation was being cut off, but what made matters worse is when her mom planted a kiss on her cheek. “My little Ollie. I love you so much.”

Olivia finally managed to move just enough to give Jamie a look that she hoped she would see as a cry for help. “Come on, babe, be cool.” Jamie snickered. “She’s in middle school now. She’s got a reputation to protect.”

Olivia’s reputation consisted of when she ran away the first time Alex flirted with her and the time she narrowly avoided walking into a pole and instead fell down on the cement and scraped her knee as a result of watching Alex apply lip gloss. Now that she thought about it, she no longer had a reputation to protect, but she was grateful for Jamie’s statement nonetheless.

“I’ll let you go,” Serena told her, just slightly lessening the tightness of her embrace. “I want you girls out here at nine o’clock. If not, I’m going in there and I will make an announcement that I’m looking for Olivia Margaret Benson in 6th grade, core 1, Mrs. Peterson’s homeroom.”

“Oh, god,” Olivia groaned, a look of absolute terror on her face. 

“She’s kidding, Olivia,” Alex giggled.

“She’s not,” Olivia worriedly responded.

As soon as they entered the auditorium, Olivia realized, aside from the colorful streamers and punch, the dance was nothing like she expected. The seventh and eighth graders were all on the dance floor, but the sixth graders were separated along gender lines with the boys on one wall of the auditorium and girls on another. Her friends who had all talked big just one day prior were now even too afraid to stand near their dates. The only sixth graders who seemed to be enjoying themselves were Abbie and Serena who were on the dancefloor along with the older kids. 

“Do you wanna dance?” Olivia asked Alex while she scanned the room.

“I don’t know,” Alex responded nervously. “I mean, maybe later. This isn’t my song.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Olivia nodded, feeling completely relieved. “This isn’t my song either.”

Their friends may have been on opposite sides of the auditorium, but what soon brought them together was Olivia’s new haircut, which much to her chagrin, became the topic of conversation among their respective groups. The girls showered her with compliments, some of which made Alex start to feel jealous until Olivia squeezed her hand to reassure her that she was the only girl for her. 

A slow song began to play and, although Olivia hadn’t magically learned how to slow dance over the last few minutes, she knew another romantic gesture might be required to make Alex feel better. Even if I make a complete fool of myself, she’s worth it.

“May I have this?” Olivia blurted out.

Alex narrowed her eyes. “Have what?” she asked before Olivia realized she hadn’t finished the rest of her question about asking her to dance.

Her girlfriend may not have been the most popular girl in sixth grade, but Alex and her friends held enough rank in the sixth grade social scene for that moment to be sufficiently awkward for Olivia with all of them exchanging glances and wondering what Olivia was trying to ask.

“Dance with me?” Olivia’s voice squeaked for a third time that night.

Her question was followed by a chorus of ‘aww’ and ‘how cute’ from Alex’s friends, but most importantly, it was followed by a kiss on the cheek from Alex. “I’d love to dance with you, Olivia.”

Olivia tried to remember every prom scene from teen movies she had watched with her mom on Netflix so she could know where to place her hands during slow dancing until she realized she usually got bored of those movies and the two of them would watch some cheesy horror movie from when her mom was a teenager because Olivia considered those way more fun, especially when they’d turn the lights off in their apartment and eat junk food on the couch while they watched. I guess the Blair Witch Project can’t save me now.  Panic set in once again until she saw how beautiful Alex looked standing in front of her. Her girlfriend’s glittery lips and braces-filled smile put Olivia at ease and, once she focused on her instead of the logistics of slow dancing, Olivia finally started to enjoy herself.

She didn’t know if she had rhythm and she didn’t care because what mattered most to her was holding Alex close while some song about eternal love or maybe heartbreak－Olivia didn’t actually care－played in the background. 

Alex’s coconut body spray reminded her of every good summer memory she ever had and all of the new memories she wanted to make with her that summer. It was the first time she had held Alex that close and for that long and, as much as she enjoyed the time she pigged out on nachos and caught a foul ball at a Mets game with her uncle, she now had a new contender for the best moment of her life, but when Alex whispered in her ear ‘You’re the best girlfriend in the world,’ she knew nothing could ever compare to her first slow dance with the very first girl she would give her heart to.

[accidentallyadramablog]

Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

[lunaleetarot]

Taurus 2021 Year Ahead Birthday Spread

Starting from the top clockwise, theme in the middle.

1. April 2021- Six of Wands

This April, you will have a lot of success. You have victories in all of your endeavors. You will receive recognition for your hard work. All the efforts you’ve been putting in this year will finally begin to pay off. This month you will begin to bask in glory. You may be looked up to as an authority. Your newfound success will make you a sort of celebrity or expert in your field. However be mindful not to let your pride get in the way when dealing with others. You may be dealing with a Leo a lot this month.

2. May 2021- The Tower

In May, you will enter a period of destruction. What you previously held as accurate will be challenged. It will feel as though everything is falling apart. Instead of May flowers, a rough road is ahead for you, Taurus. This breakdown will be a life-changing one. Bankruptcy, divorce, death, infidelity or serious illness can all go hand in hand with this card. Once all is lost, you will need to work hard to rebuild your life. This event will seem like it’s coming out of nowhere. This won’t be something you were expecting. For others, this may represent a time where your attitude will shock and surprise others. Perhaps you will have a drastic change in your point of view or you will start to cut others out of your life dramatically. Be careful not to be rebellious just for the sake of it. Non-conformity has it’s time and place. This card can also predict house floods and fires so be extra cautious with your fire safety. Although this will be far from a pleasant month for you, there is always hope for a better tomorrow. You will rebuild your life and grow stronger, Taurus.

3. June 2021- Five of Pentacles

As the sun begins to shine in June, you may be facing poverty or some tough financial times. Perhaps you're still recovering from the tower card outcome in May? If you're not money savvy you should speak to someone who can help you with your financial affairs. Do so before you get to the point where all is lost. Pay extra close attention to your health this month, make or keep any doctor appointments you have for this card is associated with illness and poor health. Keep Covid-19 in mind, consider getting vaccinated if you haven’t already. Although you will have some troubles in your life, your personal relationships will grow stronger from this strife. This challenging time will bring you closer to the people who truly care about you.

4. July 2021- Four of Cups

Boredom is ahead for you in July. As 4th of July fireworks fly, you may find yourself discontent with your life or current situation. Perhaps you are still dealing with the fall out from the tower card from May? The excitement in your life has fizzled out, you may feel like you're losing interest in your hobbies. You're going to have to do something to change the way you're feeling and get out of this rut. Spice things up, Taurus. If you have the means go on a vacation or take a day trip. Do not allow yourself to fall into a pattern of procrastination. Be mindful that boredom can lead to affairs, so if you’re in a committed relationship keep this in check. You may feel like you're suffering from a mid or quarter life crisis. Avoid coveting what other people have, especially on social media. Don’t waste time desiring things that aren’t meant for you. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you do have. You may be dealing with a Cancer this month. The 11th-18th of this month may be significant for you.

5. August 2021- Eight of Pentacles

This is a card of mastery. You will soon be recognized as a master of your craft. I feel you have taken those ill feelings with the four cups last month and honed in on a skill. This is often a card of apprenticeships. What you have previously done as a hobby is now something you're making cash on. You may even be able to make a full time living at it, or at least close to it. You're leaving the rat race for greener pastures. You’ve spent July thinking over what you want and now in August you're working towards it. You may find teaching your hobby to others is a lucrative career path. This may mean furthering your education or looking for jobs in that field. However don’t become too dictatorial in how you go about things. Don’t waste time bragging to others. You may be dealing with a Virgo this month. The 26th-31st may be significant for you.

6. September 2021- Six of Cups

The past may resurface for you this month. If you're wondering if your ex could be coming back, the answer is yes. If this is something you long for, this will be a positive thing. However I don’t think this will ring true for every Taurus. This card can also mean you will expand your family. Old memories will resurface from your own childhood, making you yearn for a child or more children. You may visit back into the house you grew up in or visit your hometown. This is a neutral card, but just be weary of old dramas coming back to haunt you. Don’t neglect the things or people you love, for they can leave or fade away.

7. October 2021- Justice

You may be dealing with the law and legality as we move into the spooky month of October. You may find yourself at the center of a court case. This doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong, but if you have broken the law I would be worried here. It could also mean your signing contracts or a lease for a new home or new job. Just be sure to read the fine print! Try to steer clear of any actions which are unethical or dishonest. You will get caught and have to face the consequences. With the Tower card in May, I feel this is most likely the case. Whatever you did in the Spring may finally be catching up to you now. Life can be unfair sometimes, and if you're waiting for justice you're going to need patience. You may be dealing with a Libra here. I feel the first half of the month will be very eventful for you.

8. November 2021- Nine of Cups

In November, you will finally start to see some wish fulfillment. This card often goes hand in hand with engagements and marriage. If committed your relationship will go the extra mile this month. You can be sure you’ve made sound investments with your time and money. Business plans will work out. Keep in mind getting what you want is half the struggle, you have to maintain it to sustain it. Good things come to those who work for it. Don’t overindulge without thinking of your future. Aim for a more balanced lifestyle. You may be dealing with a Pisces here.

9. December 2021- Three of Pentacles

Developing yourself will be your main concern this December. You may be looking into an apprenticeship or finishing the one mentioned above for the month of August. You're putting your god given talents to good use this month. Because you have natural talent, your skills won’t go unnoticed by those who matter. This will pay off, but you’ll need to push a little bit harder to get there. Don’t become too arrogant, just because you're good at something doesn’t mean there aren’t others who may know better. If others become jealous of you don’t resort to pettiness, just keep doing you.

10. January 2022- Ace of Cups

Pure and innocent love is coming to you at the start of 2021. This could mean the beginning of a new relationship. If that is the case then your love life will be of the utmost importance to you. However this card also represents childbirth and pregnancy. If it’s impossible you could conceive a child it could be someone close to you. With this card it’s likely the baby will be a girl! With the Ace of Cups you will have a brand new beginning, but it’s likely to come after a tragic ending. I feel that’s coming from the tower and justice card we’ve seen earlier in your year. Make time for friends this month, go out for drinks or dinner dates more often.

11. February 2022- Seven of Cups

As cupid strikes his bow in February, you will be faced with big decisions. Not only will you have lots of choices, but each will be valid. To complicate matters, most of these options are on a time frame. If you don’t act fast enough you will go from having many choices to none. This may be even more complicated for you because as a Taurus you don’t like to rush into things easily. It’s likely you're facing the opinions of others while you're trying to decide what’s best for you. Not everyone will have your best interest at heart, and you should keep that in mind as you're getting advice from others. Ask yourself if the people around you have their own agenda. This card is a neutral one. It’s not telling you what to decide, just that the decision needs to be made. This may make you overwhelmed and confused. You're going to need to work on your decision making skills. You may be dealing with a Scorpio here.

12. March 2022- Ace of Pentacles

As we move into March, you will begin to see the first signs of success. This is a message from the universe that lady luck is on your side for the time being. With St. Patrick’s around the corner, you’ll have the luck of the Irish on your side! The hard work you put in previously is beginning to show now. Perhaps you will receive your first paycheck from a new job or after a promotion. This won’t be some huge pay out, but the first initial signs of success. You have the foundation to build on great things if you're willing to put the work in. You may receive a gift of gold jewelry or an inheritance of some sort. Not a bad way to end your year, Taurus.

13. Theme of the Year- Three of Wands

Teamwork and opportunity are the main theme of this card, and I feel it will be for your year ahead too. Your lucky break could be many things, even something as simple as landing a romantic interest you’ve been crushing on. This year you will be presented with new work or business ventures. This is a card of trade and commerce. The trade you're involved in this year will likely expand beyond your local region, and move internationally. Perhaps you're expanding to an online platform. You may find yourself traveling for your job as well. Don’t be afraid to look for unfamiliar terrain for business opportunities. You don’t have to go with the same old same old methods you're used to. I feel this is especially important to note because as a Taurus you tend to stick to a routine and what you know works. You're going to need to cooperate with others and work as a team to achieve your goals this year. Another important fact to note since a lot of Taurus people like to work alone. In April and September you may be at the start of a promising romantic relationship. It will just be the beginning phases but there are signs of growth here. You may also have some minor grievances with the people in your life this year, try not to act rash or let them get the best of you. Keep your own actions under control, as we all know how the bull can get! In the Winter of 2022, you will be making purchases and small investments. New things will be coming into your life, and you may see financial increases. You may be moving into a new home at this time, or at least buying new furniture or renovating. You may need to invest in a new computer or smartphone, you will likely feel this is a big purchase but it will be worth it in the long run.